Don’t do this.
Shut up.
You don’t want to.
No, I really think I do.
Why?
Because there really is no way out. End of story. Now shut up and go back to bed.
No.
Why are you so annoying?
As long as you’re alive, I’m going to be as annoying as h***. Just don’t do it!
My hand lowered slightly.
Wait.
Why am I listening to myself?
Because you know that you really DON’T want to do this.
I disagree.
I don’t believe you. You can’t lie to me.
Watch me.
STOP! Tellie, STOP!
No. I can do this. I will do this.
TELLIE!
You can’t help me anymore.
STOP! Think about…about…um…think about how happy they’d be! Think!
Think about how much everybody else would hate them if someone found my note.
Well, then, think about…uh…Katie! How awful it would be for her!
That’s dirty. And she’d be fine. Remember, she ditched me for Them?
Um, okay…well…the kids! Think about the kids!
What kids?
Your students! The third-graders from church!
Oh. Those kids. Someone would think up a lie, like I moved unexpectedly or something.
Fine. Think about how you’d never get to meet Public Figure Number One or get back together with Denver. THINK ABOUT IT!
Who’d ever want to come back to a psycho? What’s the point? I’m never even going to get close to Public Figure No. One, it was just a dream, anyways. Who cares, now?
Think about the effect it’ll have on Denver. Think about the guilt.
I’m past caring. It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s over!
Yes, but you know he still has feelings for you.
Shut up.
You’re trying to hide.
No, I’m trying to get this over with. Now if you’d excuse me, I have some duties to attend to.
I won’t let you.
You can’t do anything about it. You’re too late.
No I’m not. It’s not too late until it’s over. And where I go, you go. So next time, instead of a nice house and family, you are going to end up on the street and beaten to a pulp every day after you turn thirteen if you do this. You have a choice.
DO NOT lecture me on reincarnation. I already know about them.
Obviously not very well. You forgot that I hold the power over your next life.
Shut up. You could never do such a thing to me.
Yes, I could.
Just shut up.
No. I refuse. And if you find-
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.
No.
I don’t need you.
You’d be dead by now without me.
Yes, and much happier.
My conscience finally shut up. I was free from the guilt and the suspicion.
My hand raised slightly.
It moved again.
And the knife fell out of my hand and mad a soft thud when it landed on the carpet. Then the tears started coming. I couldn’t do anything now. Not for all the stars in the universe.