Dear Diary

By , cave creek, AZ
June 1st, 2007
Dear Diary,

Once you spend five hours on homework every night, once you get made fun of everyday at school for having ‘four eyes’, once you have only one friend to sit with at lunch, and once you desperately wish you have a boyfriend but all the guys really think they’re too cool for you, you will then know what it is to be like me, Lexi Greene. I am so excited though!!! Sunshine camp starts tomorrow! Hopefully I can make a friend...maybe even one like me. It’s just so hard though, not many 10th grade girls LOVE school like I do. They’re all too obsessed with what they look like and who’s going out with who. It doesn’t even matter! Everyone needs to chill out. After p.e. they all rush towards the mirror to re-apply make-up. It’s soo annoying. Anyways, when they turn around, it looks like they have raccoon eyes. How do guys even go for that??? They should like girls like me who don’t wear any make-up, who don’t spend 30 minutes a morning ‘doing’ their hair (by the end of the day it looks like a pig-sty), wears glasses, and purely just doesn’t care what they think. It’s very annoying.





-Excited/annoyed Lexi











June 5th, 2007
Dear Diary,

This sucks. I hate my life. Of course I would get paired to room with the one girl in this whole camp who is exactly like what I described last time. ^^^^ Kelsey. Ugghh. Just thinking about that name makes my skin curl. I can already tell this whole month is going to suck. Big time...





-Angry Lexi











June 7th, 2007
Dear Diary,

Why did I want to come to this camp again? All I do is hang out by myself the whole time. I sit all alone at meals while all the other girls are cramming on a bench trying to make room for even more people. I hate my life.







-Lonely Lexi

























June 12, 2007
Dear Diary,

Camp is going great! Well, except for when Kelsey has her moments. She’s actually not that bad though. I despise my self for admitting it, but I’m sort of starting to like her. Maybe it’s just jealousy and wanting to be like her, all the guys want her. I’m still confused as to why she’s even here. Wouldn’t she rather be with all her ‘cool’ friends shopping and hanging out with boys? Maybe I’ll ask her next week. Call me crazy, but it kind of seems like she’s starting to like me more. Kelsey went from completely ignoring me to having mini conversations in our dorm. When she’s with guys or other pretty girls though, she completely ignores me again. Today at free time she was playing tennis with Ben, so I went up there and asked if I could play. She snapped a real quick ‘no’ then turned her back, served, then burst out laughing. Way to embarrass me in front of my crush. No wait, did I just say crush? I hate guys, what was I thinking. He is pretty hot though. No, I didn’t just say that either. Handsome, Ben is handsome. not hot. I’ve only been with Kelsey like 10 days and apparently she’s starting to get to me. Well, Miss Jenny told me I have to write down a list of my ten favorite things so I better do it before I forget!
-Moderate Lexi











June 20, 2007
Dear Diary,

I don’t know what it is, but Kelsey actually likes me now! I hang out with her all the time!!! She is even teaching me how to act ‘cool’ and promises to help me get a boyfriend. Yeah right, like that’ll ever happen. Well maybe it actually will. Who would have ever thought Kelsey would actually hang out with me? Anyways, I thought that this camp would be the worst thing ever, but it’s actually the best thats happened to me since my 7th birthday party when I actually had friends. If only this camp would last forever...only 12 more days left ;(.
Gleeful Lexi











June 25th, 2007
Dear Diary,

All I can say is I LOVE SUNSHINE CAMP!!!!! Kelsey is now my always dreamed for BFF! (I think I’m pretty high up there on her friends list too...) This summer I pledged to stop worrying about school and have become carefree! Gosh, I really LOVE this life. I have nothing to worry about and I’m not regretting anything (I think this might be why Kelsey likes me so much more now) Why didn’t I figure this out earlier?!?!? Kelsey is a great person and I am so glad I got to become friends with her. She told me that after camp we have to get together again. Kelsey even told me that her two bffs, Lauren and Ali, will love me too!






-Kelsey’s Biggest Fan Lexi











June 26th, 2007
Dear Diary,

Ohh emm geee! I took all of Kelsey’s advice and now Ben always talks to me. Last night he slipped me a note and told Kelsey and me to meet him and Conner (Kelsey’s crush) 33 steps west of the fire-pit in the forest. Of course we did as told and guess what!!! We talked and talked, all sitting criss-cross in a circle (Ben then me then Kelsey then Conner), and after playing truth or dare for a while, Ben leaned over and kissed me!!! On the lips! No, not just a lousy peck on the check, but a real on the lips! It was amazing! Finally, the summer going into 10th grade, I had my first kiss!


Right now Kelsey’s in the shower and I’m sitting in bed about to turn lights off. I just can’t get that moment out of my mind though...It just keeps replaying over and over. I want it to happen again. Tomorrow.







-Lexi in Love










July 1st, 2007
Dear Diary,

Camp ends tomorrow :(. I am so sad. This has been the best summer ever. Atleast Kelsey only lives 5 minutes away, but I’m going to miss Ben! Oh how amazing he is. It’s going to be horrible saying good-bye to him. I told Kelsey how much I “love” him and she told me she’s totally find me someone back home. Someone even better. Well to wrap up my visit at sunshine camp:
Beginning- sucked. Kelsey hated me. Life was miserable
End of the beginning- still sucked, but started getting a little better. Kelsey talked to me while in the dorm.
Middle- okay. Kelsey liked me and actually let me hang out with her. Life started to get better.
Beginning of the end- Kelsey’s a close friends and actually likes me back. Hung out with her everyday. Set me up with my ‘summer crush’, Ben.
End of the end- Life is great!! Kelsey’s a bff! Ben kissed me and I finally had my first kiss!! I love sunshine camp!!!





-Amazingly happy but sad camp is over Lexi










July 6th, 2010
Dear Diary,

Well, I’ve been home for like three days now. Life’s good...back to normal, well, kind of. I have hung out with Kelsey once already and next week I’m meeting her friends!! I think they mentioned a something about a little party? Hmm, well it should be fun! Everything is fun when I’m with Kelsey! She’s like a freaking God or something!!! Besides hanging out with Kelsey that one time, I haven’t really done anything yet. I haven’t even talked to my best friend! (Well I don’t know who is my best friend now, but my Before Kelsey Best Friend Forever -- BKBFF) Well, it’s dinner time, Lasagna Sunday! Yummy! Write to you later..







-Relaxed Lexi











July 12th, 2007
Dear Diary,

Drugs. Yes. I did it for my very first time. Last night. At Sarah’s “mini party”. Geez, if that was a mini party, whats a regular sized party like? The house was packed! I am not happy with my self at all. I had no clue what to expect and what it was doing. All the adults are always telling us how bad they are for us, but I have no clue what i was thinking when I said yes. What it peer pressure? I’ve never felt that before. Kelsey and Sarah were doing it, they told me I totally didn’t have to if I wasn’t feeling up to it, but I couldn’t let them think I was a chicken...in the popular crowd, it’s one strike and your out. For some reason though, last night seemed magical sort of. It was like I didn’t have a care in the world. It was actually really nice. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I actually kind of liked it. Not that I’ll ever do it again, this was a one time thing only. I am not okay with putting harmful substances into my body. I’ll talk to you later when I’m in a better mood and not so mad at my self. Bye.






-Irritated Lexi











July 15th, 2007
Dear Diary,

Wow! Is it already July 15th?! This summer is flying by! (Unlike all my other ones) I’ve been hanging out with Kelsey almost every other day. We go to the mall, water-park, bowl, ect. We haven’t done anything with guys yet, but she promises to get me a boyfriend the first week school starts!! I still regret what I did three days ago, but everyone has regrets right?






-Busy Lexi











July 17th, 2007
Dear Diary,

It happened again. Well, kind of. Just Alcohol, but still not okay. What am I doing to my self? I’m starting to think Kelsey isn’t the best friend to have, but right now, she’s the best thing thats ever happened to me. And I HAVE to stay with her so in a month I will automatically enter 10th grade on the top. Right? Ughh...I have no clue what to do with my self.






-Confused Lexi











July 27th, 2007
Dear Diary,

Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve written. I have just been busy with Kelsey and Sarah most of the time too. Since my last entree I been to about three or so parties. Only one of them was ‘clean’. Lately, I’ve begun to just not care anymore. I’m only 15 and I’ve spent too much time worrying. Last Saturday this guy Chris had a party and we played a game, I can’t remember the name though. I had no idea what was going on until after when I “woke up”. Apparently they put acid in eight out of the ten cokes to see who would randomly get one. Of course I did. It was beautiful, everything was perfect and I was so lackadaisical. It was as if I hadn’t a care in the world. When I finally woke up from my trip I was confused, no idea what was going on. The music was blasting and the ten people that were there were dancing their bodies off. Kelsey explained the whole ordeal the next day. She said she was one of the two people who got to watch the other ten. Apparently I was hilarious. Well, thats good, I had a great time doing it, and she had a great time observing. I think I want to do it again.

I don’t really remember to much what happened at the second party. It was all a blur. Who cares though, right? I just remember having fun that night, and thats all that matters to me right know! I know there was some kind of drug going around, but I can’t remember the exact name. Probably pot though, that’s what everyone’s doing now a days.





-Lexi the Newest Druggie






















July 30th, 2007
Dear Diary,

Last night was amazing. I did it again. Why doesn’t the whole tenth-grade class do this? We’d have such a great time together!!! Maybe over fall break or something someone will throw a big Yay! The first quarter is over with! party. Let’s cross our fingers!






-Elated Lexi
P.S. Have I mentioned how much I love my ‘new life’??











August 1st, 2007
Dear Diary,

Im soo excitedd! School starts in 12 days! This year is going to be great (Well hopefully)! I just have to stay close with Kelsey and her friend Sarah too. Sarah’s actually not bad either and I think she likes me back! Besides the first three weeks of summer before camp, this summer has been great!! I wonder what everyone will say this year when I come back being all popular?! Well Kelsey’s at the door so I’ll talk to you later!
-Kelsey’s Latest BFF Lexi (Hopefully)











August 5th, 2007
Dear Diary,

Well, I have some news I’m not very proud of, but I still don’t regret it! The past three nights I’ve gotten stoned. Sarah just got a new load of pot and said she’d share it ALL with us! How generous she is!!! Kelsey also told me that she had a surprise for me tonight...I think it’s either coke or acid. I can’t decide which one I’d rather it be. I’d like to try something new (the coke) but last time I took a trip (acid) it was pretty great! Tough decisions these days..!







-Stoned Lexi











August 12th, 2007
Dear Diary,

Sorry its been a week! I’ve been with Kelsey most of the week getting our last back to school things ready. I even had my first three sleepovers in a row! Mom told me she really like Kelsey. Good thing Kelsey’s good at sucking up. Mom would die if she found out what we were really doing. In celebration of school starting back up (even though it’s not really exciting to go back to school, it’s more sad), Kelsey told me she found a great acid supplier and she told me to meet her in the desert tonight and we could take a trip together. She told me its in remembrance of the first mini party we ever attended together. How sweet! I don’t think I can wait another three hours...I’m going to go surprise her! Adios!






-Unbelievably Happy Lexi











August 18th, 2007
Dear Diary,

School is just wonderful! Chris asked me out today...I felt so powerful when I told him no. It was amazing! Who would’ve thought that within a week of this year I could have already had a boyfriend?! The thought just makes me want to run around my whole house dancing and screaming. Last year I was this huge loser and everyone’s eyebrows crinkled when they heard my name trying to figure out who I was and now, not to be blunt of anything, I am one of the most popular girls in this school. Also, Kelsey and I have been doing Pot about every other day. I try to tell myself I’m not addicted and at first I had convinced my self, but right now Im dying for a joint!







-Popular Lexi












???
Dear Diary,

Do you know what day it is? Because I sure don’t! but who really cares? Not me! Currently, my life is great! I’m living life on the edge (Well I’m trying to at least because that’s what all the cool people do...Although I, unlike all the other students, do complete all my homework in fear of getting yelled at by my teachers). I think it’s like three a.m. right now, good thing Mom and Dad are asleep or they’d freak knowing that I was still up. Earlier today I was at Kelsey and we smoked another joint, it’s getting kind of boring now though, it’s like routine and nothing new ever happens. Sarah tells me I should try cocaine tomorrow. I think I will. I mean, if I’m putting illegal substances in my body, I might as well enjoy it right? And getting bored easily is NOT enjoying it. Well, I think I’m going to try and get some sleep so I will have lots of energy for the big day tomorrow!





-Adrenalized Lexi













???
Dear Diary,

This weekend we have Friday and Monday off, which means a four day weekend!! Me and Kelsey already planned it out. Her parents are out of town so I’ll be staying at her house the whole time. Mom and Dad won’t care right? Well, they probably will, but I don’t! So on Friday after school Kelsey’s having Sarah and this new girl Shayna over and she told me we could take another trip on acid. Then on Saturday we are going to take it easy on weed the whole day so on Sunday we can bump it up with cocaine (I have no clue where she gets all the drugs from, but I’m just glad I haven’t ever once had to buy them) on Sunday. She also told me that on Monday she and Sarah are going to throw a big honkin’ party!! Kelsey says she doesn’t want to waste all her precious cocaine and pot on a bunch of random drop-ins so apparently there will only be alcohol. “Only alcohol.” What the heck am I thinking? I used to never even touch a can that contained an ounce of beer in it to hand to my mom and now I’m complaining about how that’s all thats going to be at Kelsey’s party. What has gotten in to me?! Kelsey said it will be good stuff though.






-Partying Lexi













???
Dear Diary,

Well so far this weekend has been the best one yet! Friday and Saturday went right as planned and so far today is swell too. In about an hour or so Kelsey’s going to give me the cocaine. I haven’t talked to Mom at all this whole weekend. She’s probably freaking out trying to figure out where I am. I wouldn’t be surprised if she hasn’t sent out a Police search crew to come find me. Out of the ten times she called me, I’ve only answered once, but that was on accident and I immediately hung up. I don’t really know why but she’s been annoying me lately. She’s always on my back about everything, “Have you done your homework yet?” Mom, do you know me? Of course I have. “Is your room clean? Make sure to take out the trash. What are you doing this weekend?” I’m like Mom, shut. up.! Anyways, tomorrow night is going to be the best. I am going to get so drunk and then on Tuesday I will have the worst hang-over, but who really cares? It’s all worth it! I’ll skip school on Tuesday, get better then go back home before Mom has a heart-attack. WOOHOOO! ARE YOU READY TO PARR-TAYY?!?!






-Pumped up Lexi













???
Dear Diary,

Today’s the day of the big party!!! Kelsey showed me her supply of all the alcohol and let me tell you, there is mountains of beers and then in the back she has numerous bottles of vodka and whisky. It’s amazing, tonight will be sick. Kelsey gave me the receipt for a souvenir of my first real party.
















-Wild Lexi










September 1st, 2007
Dear Diary,

Last night was not what I thought it would be. In fact, it was horrible. I cannot get it to stop replaying in my mind, well at least the parts I can actually remember. Here it is: It was probably around ten p.m. and the party was just getting started. I’d had a beer and a half and wasn’t feeling anything. Kelsey then walked up to me, “Hey Lexi! How do you think it’s going so far?”

“It’s awesome!” I replied. “I can’t believe I haven’t ever been to a real party before. I was missing out on so much! You have been the best true friend I have ever had, thank you!!”

Kelsey did a little hair flip and shrugged of my praise. “Your just drinking a beer?” She gestured to the can in my hand.

“Uhh, yeah?” What else did she want me drinking?

“Stay here, I’ll go get you something better.” She did another hair flip and turned around, her perfectly straightened blond hair almost whipping me in the face.

Two minutes later she arrived with two cups in her hands. “Here, taste these, tell me which one you like better.”

I grabbed the first cup and took a sip. Eww! This stuff is gross! Uggh, get that nauseating taste out of my mouth! “Mmm! That was amazing!” I smacked my lips together, pretending that it was the best thing I’d ever consumed. Inside, I really wanted to barf though.

Kelsey took the cup from my hand then offered up the next one. Oh my God. What is all this crap? This drink’s even worse than the first. How do people appreciate this? Oh my God! This one’s even better! Where’d you get all this alcohol?!”

“You can keep that and drink it, I like this one better anyways. Plus, you’ll fell that quicker that stupid beer. Think of it like this: Beer is like pot. This stuff is like cocaine, and we’re at a party and want to get as crazy as possible.”

“Oh thanks Kelsey!”

As the night wore on, I continued to drink that crap because I wanted to seem cool. Now that I think about it, the more and more I had, the better I liked it. I don’t think it was even that bad. Well at least it wasn’t after my third refill.
***

I don’t remember much after that. The next thing I reminisce is my eyes fluttering open and seeing a bunch of plain white walls surrounding me. I thought I was in prison or something and couldn’t figure it out. I tried sitting up but then someone in all green clothes with white shoes and a white piece of paper over his mouth came rushing over, gently pushing my shoulders back down.

“Lexi dear, I’m glad you finally woke up. Please lie back down.” He calmly told me.

“Wha, wha, where am I?” I stuttered. “I didn’t know this was what prison was like. I thought it was all dark. Oh no! What is Mom going to say when she find out I got sent to jail?”

“Lexi, it’s okay. You’re not in jail, you are in a hospital. Last night you were at a party with lots of alcohol. Your friend told me that he was talking to you at like two a.m. and then all of a sudden you fainted and on your way down you hit your head on the corner of a table. He call the ambulance and they got there just in time. Lexi, you are very lucky your friend had enough guts to actually call us. Most teenagers would just leave you there. He saved your life.”

“What?” I had no clue what to say. I was dumbstruck. Did the doctor just say HE saved your life? What guy was I talking to last night? “Who was this person that called you?”

“He said his name was Chris. But Lexi, I don’t think you understand how serious this was. You had way to much alcohol in your body and when you fainted you hit your head. That’s two negatives. Two negatives don’t always equal a positive. You had a concussion and your lucky the ambulance got there when it did. In the ambulance you woke and threw up all over the EMT. However, it was just a little bit that came up. After you got checked in to the hospital and got checked out, I realized you needed to have your stomach pumped immediately. I found a couple idle nurses and they got everything ready quickly. Somehow your parents got word, and rushed to the hospital immediately. They’re out in the waiting room. I’m going to send them in now.”

With that he turned around and walked towards the door.

So Diary, that was my night last night. My first party=a complete failure. Now Mom and Dad are watching me like hawks and keep coming in here every twenty minutes to check on me and make sure I haven’t snuck out or something of that sort. They told me they no longer trust me and Kelsey is not allowed at our house ever again, nor am I allowed over there. Well, I guess it’s for the better right?







-Sickened Lexi






















September 2nd, 2007
Dear Diary,

This was in the newspaper today. I’m so dead. What is everyone going to say when I go back to school?




-Recently Famous Lexi
P.S. According to this article, I was standing next to the stairs and when I fell Chris was in front of me but then turned around and rushed over to my side. Everyone’s going to have the story wrong when I get back...









September 8th, 2007
Dear Diary,

I have made a decision. Even though some of my best times were on drugs or while drinking alcohol, I am not going to ever do it again. I didn’t go to school at all this week, Mom told me I needed time to sort out my business and recover. I haven’t talked to Kelsey once yet, and I don’t plan to. My life is better without her. Even though during the summer it seemed like I was having the time of my life, the past couple of days I have realized that partying is not going to get me anywhere. I have only lived for fifteen years and I still have six years until I need to be going to parties. This time of my life is the time to be the little innocent girl I used to be where the biggest problem was what to have for a snack after school and whether or not I’d have enough time to get my homework done if I stopped at the library on my way home from school. My mom used to always tell me to “learn from my mistakes,” but I always shrugged it off. However, this time I know she is right and that everyone is not perfect.






-Lexi in Realization











October 12th, 2007
Dear Diary,

I have stayed true to my self and haven’t committed any ‘crimes’. I see Kelsey in the hall but I just give her a friendly wave then continue on. I have made friends with this girl Hannah who accepts me for my flaws and understands my pass. Also, after finding out what Chris did for me I went to his house and apologized. He told me not to be sorry and that nobody’s perfect. I explained my self to him (my whole story from start to end. About summer camp and how excited I was to be hanging out with Kelsey). He just sat there the whole time taking it all in, but comforting me at the same time. And guess what? I actually kind of like him. Not because he’s cute, but for his personality. To my surprise, the next week he asked me out and we hang out on the weekends. He is great to me and I love him. I hope we never break up. Anyways, through this whole fiasco, I learned two important lessons: nobody’s perfect and being popular actually isn’t all that great. Instead it’s just a lot more stress and in the long run, the popular crowd are usually the ones who mess up and will be the beggars on the side of the road. Not me. I am going to continue getting straight 99 percents in all my classes and grow up to be a successful lawyer.







-Just me, Lexi





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