It was getting late so of course I was getting paranoid. My heart started racing and I started praying fervently. All because mommy was late. And maybe it was just me I got paranoid when it was dark out and didn’t like the fact that anyone was out at night, but still she should have been home by now. I took a deep breath and looked back at the clock besides the obvious fact that my clock was wrong I noticed that it seemed to have stopped. Had time stopped? no, right? I looked cautiously zoning out at the neon red numbers that glowed against the dark surrounding shadows. My body wouldn’t calm and my heart seemed to beat heavily.

7:31

The time refused to change. And rebellious of all my desires it stood alone in the present fact that it wanted simply to stay that way. She should have been back around 6:00 it was only an hour long meeting but at the way it stood she might never come home. What if the car broke down? Lord knows she never carries her cell phone. What if she got robbed? Lord knows what she’d do. What if there was a car accident? Pray, pray, pray. That was the only thing holding me up right now and I didn’t like that. Why did she have to take hours on end to do something didn’t she know someone was worried sick about her at home? Not that she cared. It was then a heavy knock was heard at the door. Since my room faced the front I merely sat up on the bed and looked out. Finally she was home i sighed in reief.

But she wasn’t.

That sense of dread that I had been controlling rushed over me like an unstoppable tidel wave throwing me off balance. I raced downstairs the tears and praying danced with one another. Please no, please no, please God no! I shook, trembled as I watched papa slowly open the door and reveal the two sorrow filled faces of the officers.

“Light what’s wrong?”

Xia asked but I had already understood the situation and like the ripple effect everything inside started to break down.

“Is this the Remhat household?”

The older of the officers asked, his voice was bold and full of purpose as if he had done the rutine many times before.

“Yes?”

Papa said cautiously. The younger officer caught my gaze and whispered word of comfort through his own.

“We need you to come with us. This is concerning your wife”

And although i appreciated his kindness, the thing was words, blank looks, hugs of condolence. None of it could quiet the shrill that erupted from my throat and echoed through the air.

Not then.

And certainly not now.