Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

My Life in Lyrics

0-8 months
I wait for the postman to bring me a letter. And I wait for the good Lord to make me feel better. And I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. Family in crisis that only grows older. Why’d you have to go? Why’d you have to go? Why’d you have to go? Daughter to father, daughter to father! I am broken, but I am hoping. Daughter to father, daughter to father! I am crying, a part of me’s dying. And these are, these are, the confessions of a broken heart! And I wear all your old clothes your polo sweater. I dream of another you, one who would never. Never, leave me alone to pick up the pieces. Daddy to hold me, that’s what I needed, so, why’d you have to go? Why’d you have to go? Why’d you have to go? Daughter to father, daughter to father! I don’t know you, but I still want to. Daughter to father, daughter to father! Tell me the truth, did you ever love me? Because these are, these are the confessions....!!! Of a broken heart! Of a broken heart! I love you. I love you. I love you. I ... I ... I ... I love you! Daughter to father, daughter to father! I don’t know you, but I still want to. Daughter to father, daughter to father! Tell me the truth, did you ever love me? Did you ever love me? These are the confessions of a broken heart! Ohh ... yeah. And I wait for the postman to bring me a letter. You gave me up mom and dad you left when you knew I was coming. Mom you did what you could but it wasn’t enough thank you for trying. Dad…did you ever care? Did you ever love me? I guess I’ll never know. Sometimes the road just ends. It changes everything you've been and all that's left to be is empty, broken, lonely, hoping. I'm supposed to be strong. I'm supposed to find a way to carry on. And I don't want to feel better. And I don't want to not remember and I will always see your face in the shadows of this haunted place. I will laugh. I will cry, shake my fist at the sky. But I will not say goodbye. They keep saying time will heal, but the pain just gets more real. The sun comes up each day finds me waiting, fading, hating, praying if I can keep on holding on maybe I can keep my heart from knowing that you're gone. And I don't want to feel better. And I don't want to not remember. I will always see your face
in the shadows of this haunted place. I will laugh. I will cry, shake my fist at the sky, but I will not say goodbye. I will curse, I will pray, I‘ll relieve every day. I will show through the blame
I'll shout out your name, I will laugh, I will cry, shake my fist at the sky. But I will not say. I will not say goodbye. I will not say goodbye. Will not say….


8 months to 11 years old
I come home in the morning light. My mother says when you going to live your life right. Oh mother dear we're not the fortunate ones. And girls they want to have fun. Oh girls just want to have fun. The phone rings in the middle of the night. My father yells what you going to do with your life. Oh daddy dear you know you're still number one. But girls they want to have fun. Oh girls just want to have-- That's all they really want. Some fun. When the working day is done Girls-- they want to have fun Oh girls just want to have fun! I mean life was perfect! So much fun! No worries or cares everything was easy until she messed up and threw it all because I never thought it would be me living in a shattered dream. How could this be the end for me? What I wouldn't give to have a life to live, a day to plan. Instead I'll be forever fifteen. Could have lived out every dream. I could have been most anything. Can someone wake me up? I haven't lived yet. I'm only fifteen. God, did you forget? I'm just a baby and I don't want to be forever fifteen. I'll never have a bed to make, a test to take, a summer day. I'll always be forever fifteen. I could have had a family. If things had worked out differently instead I'll be forever fifteen. Could I have just one more day a chance to learn from her mistakes? Can someone wake me up? I haven't lived yet. I'm only fifteen.
God, did you forget? I'm just a baby and I don't want to be forever fifteen. In a matter of a moment Life fell before my eyes. And now I'm looking at the meaning of the miracle of life. Where are we going without even knowing? The answers deep inside? So don't give up. You haven't lived yet. You're only fifteen. And God did not forget You're just a baby…

11 years to…well…now...
I will not make the same mistakes that you did. I will not let myself. Cause my heart so much misery. I will not break the way you did, you fell so hard. I've learned the hard way. To never let it get that far. Because of you. I never stray too far from the sidewalk. Because of you. I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt. Because of you. I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me, Because of you. I am afraid. I lose my way. And it's not too long before you point it out. I cannot cry. Because I know that's weakness in your eyes. I'm forced to fake. A smile, a laugh every day of my life. My heart can't possibly break. When it wasn't even whole to start with. Because of you. I never stray too far from the sidewalk. Because of you. I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt. Because of you. I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me. Because of you. I am afraid. I watched you die. I heard you cry every night in your sleep. I was so young. You should have known better than to lean on me. You never thought of anyone else. You just saw your pain. And now I cry in the middle of the night. For the same d*** thing. Because of you. I never stray too far from the sidewalk. Because of you. I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt. Because of you. I try my hardest just to forget everything. Because of you. I don't know how to let anyone else in. Because of you. I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty. Because of you. I am afraid. Because of you. Because of you. You come to me with scars on your wrist. You tell me this will be the last night. Feeling like this. I just came to say goodbye. Didn't want you to see me cry. I'm fine but I know it's a lie. This is the last night you'll spend alone. Look me in the eyes so I know you know. I'm everywhere you want me to be. The last night you'll spend alone. I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go. I'm everything you need me to be. Your parents say everything is your fault. But they don't know you like I know you. They don't know you at all. I'm so sick of when they say. It's just a phase, you'll be okay, and you’re fine. But I know it's a lie. This is the last night you'll spend alone. Look me in the eyes so I know you know. I'm everywhere you want me to be. The last night you'll spend alone. I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go. I'm everything you need me to be. The last night away from me. The night is so long when everything's wrong. If you give me your hand. I will help you hold on. Tonight, tonight. This is the last night you'll spend alone. Look me in the eyes so I know you know. I'm everywhere you want me to be. The last night you'll spend alone. I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go. I'm everything you need me to be. I won't let you say goodbye. And I'll be your reason why. The last night away from me, away from me. Look at me; you may think you see who I really am. But you'll never know me. Every day it’s as if I play a part. Now I see if I wear a mask can fool the world. But I cannot fool my heart. Who is that girl I see Staring straight back at me? When will my reflection show who I am inside? I am now in a world where I have to hide my heart. And what I believe in. But somehow I will show the world what’s inside my heart and be loved for who I am. Who is that girl I see Staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don't know? Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time? When will my reflection show who I am inside? There's a heart that must be free to fly. That burns with a need to know the reason why. Why must we all conceal. What we think how we feel. Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide? I won't pretend that I'm someone else for all time. When will my reflection show? Who I am inside? Who I am inside? Who I am inside? When will my reflection show? Who I am. Who I am inside? I open my eyes. I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light. I can't remember how and I can't remember why. I'm lying here tonight, and I can't stand the pain. And I can't make it go away. No I can't stand the pain. How could this happen to me? She made her mistakes. Got nowhere to run. The night goes on. As I'm fading away. I'm sick of this life. I just want to scream. How could this happen to me? Everybody's screaming I try to make a sound but no one hears me. I'm slipping off the edge. I'm hanging by a thread. I want to start this over again. So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered. And I can't explain what happened and I can't erase the things that she’s done. No I can't. How could this happen to me she made her mistakes. Got nowhere to run. The night goes on As I'm fading away. I'm sick of this life. I just want to scream. How could this happen to me? She made her mistakes. Got nowhere to run. The night goes on as I'm fading away. I'm sick of this life. I just want to scream. How could this happen to me? Hey dad look at me. Think back and talk to me. Did I grow up according to plan? And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I want to do? But it hurts when you disapprove all along. And now I try hard to make it. I just want to make you proud. I'm never gonna be good enough for you. I can't pretend that I'm alright and you can't change me. 'Cuz we lost it all. Nothing last forever. I'm sorry I can't be perfect. Now it's too late and we can't go back. I'm sorry I can't be perfect. I try not to think about the pain I feel inside. Did you know you used to be my hero? All the days you spent with me now seem so far away and it feels like you don't care anymore. And now I try hard to make it. I just want to make you proud. I'm never gonna be good enough for you can't stand another fight and nothing's alright. 'Cuz we lost it all. Nothing last forever. I'm sorry I can't be perfect. Now it's too late and we can't go back. I'm sorry I can't be perfect. Nothing's gonna change the things that you said. Nothing's gonna make this right again. Please don't turn your back I can't believe its hard Just to talk to you 'Cuz you don't understand that we lost it all. Nothing last forever. I'm sorry I can't be perfect. Now it's too late and we can't go back. I'm sorry I can't be perfect. She is running
a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction. She is trying, but the canyon's ever widening in the depths of her cold heart. So she sets out on another misadventure just to find she's another two years older, and she's three more steps behind. Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see? Or does anybody even know she's going down today? Under the shadow of our steeple with all the lost and lonely people searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me. Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see? She is yearning for shelter and affection that she never found at home. She is searching for a hero to ride in, to ride in and save the day and in walks her prince charming and he knows just what to say. Momentary lapse of reason and she gives herself away. If judgment looms under every steeple. If lofty glances from lofty people. Can't see past her scarlet letter. And we never even met her. . If lofty glances from lofty people. Can't see past her scarlet letter. And we never even met her. Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see? Or does anybody even know she's going down today? Under the shadow of our steeple with all the lost and lonely people searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me. Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?





Join the Discussion

This article has 1 comment. Post your own now!

deadea22 said...
Feb. 27, 2011 at 8:50 am
please comment! :)
 
bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback