I Stand in Front of my Mirror | Teen Ink

I Stand in Front of my Mirror

February 9, 2011
By KatreenaMarie PLATINUM, Fresno, California
KatreenaMarie PLATINUM, Fresno, California
32 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We will fight, or we will fall, until the angels save us all"
Hollywood Undead

I stand in front of my mirror, years of makeup, blood, eraseable marker, and broken memories line the cracks and crevices that mar my reflection. Each and every one holds a meaning and I can tell you exactly what happened where, but those stories will have to wait. For now, I have a different tale to tell.
I stand in front of my mirror and remember everything I used to do. Walking on the beach, writing songs and performing for my friends, talking for hours about nothing and everything, and yet, I don't miss it. I just get too tired to feel anything other than indifference anymore.
I stand in front of my mirror and see my face before me. The girl who is now only a shell of who I once was. My hair, once auburn and shiny, now hangs limp and dying against my hollowed cheeks. My eyes, once green with fiery flecks of gold swimming through my iris like little fish, now flat and lifeless. My lips, once full and soft, now are bitten and chapped.

I stand in front of my mirror and wonder how this girl, with her ribs sticking out, and her curves no longer sexy, no longer full and luscious. Instead, I see this girl, weakened and empty, drained of all, well all of everything. No longer strong enough to do the things I used to, I see the places where I feel my skin is about to rip, it's stretched across razor sharp knees and elbows.

I stand in front of my mirror, and wonder how he can still look at me, how he can still say I am beaustiful, when everyone else agrees my beauty has faded. My will to even do the most basic of neccessities, survive, has left me. I no longer have control over my life, and yet he is always there to help me along.

I stand in front of my mirror, and suddenly, I'm not. My hand is bloody, shredded to pieces as the glass rains down upon my feet. The mirror is broken. I guess it's only fair to return a broken mirror, since I've already had my 7 years.

I stand in front of what used to be my mirror. A single tear slides down my cheek, but soon they are falling as if trying to flood my home. I stare at the few shards of glass remaining in the now empty frame, and let out everything I feel. The hurt. The neglect. The abuse my bady has gone through. Everything, until I see a face next to mine in those few pieces.

"I love you becasue you are strong. Life gave you this disease, and you have battled, without help, for so long. I love you because, even without your curves, you are still the most beautiful girl in the world. I love you because of your ability to bake and cook and clean all at once, and because I can feel your smile shining through as I kiss you. I love you because you are the most amazing girl I have ever met. I fell in love with you the day we met and somehow I wound up covered in glitter, and you were covered in Silly String. I loved you when you bounced over to me saying I looked lonely and you thought I needed a friend. I loved you when I walked all the way to McDonald's, just to see you and meet yor best friend. I have loved you every moment since the first, whether we were together or not, and I will love you everyday after. You didn't choose this, but you have chosen to beat this. The doctor just called. Your leukemia is finally gone."

The author's comments:
I wrote this about my best friend and I, except I wrote is if I were dying of leukemia. No, this is NOT intended to offend or make fun of anyone suffering from this disease, and if you feel it does, I apologize from the deepest depths of my heart. I never intended for that.

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