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I'm Not That Lucky

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Ugh! I’m awake again. I roll out of bed. I don’t want to go to school today. I never want to go to school. I turn and look out the window. Dull skies. It will probably start raining. I get dressed and head downstairs for breakfast. Accidentally, I bump into my bed stand. I feel pain in my hip. I lift my shirt and see that the large, purple bruise that my mom gave me with her belt last night had started to swell. I sigh and head downstairs to open the fridge and eat breakfast. As usual it’s empty. See, my family doesn’t have much money. My mom is a waitress. And she only works part time, which doesn’t get much income. My dad left when I was born. Maybe he didn’t want me. At least that’s what my mom tells me. After all, she hit’s me for it. I put on my hoodie and head out the door. For a girl, I have a very tomboy style. But I see no point in fashion.

I get out side and brush some of the cigarette stubs of my porch. My neighborhood isn’t too nice. But it was in our price range. At least I’m not out on the streets. But my school isn’t very close to me. The bus doesn’t come by my region. And I can’t afford to take the public transit. So I walk. After all, walking is healthier right? As I’m walking, I’m not sure why but I find myself thinking about my grandpa. He was the only person I loved. He was fun and exciting even in the hardest of our problems. Unfortunately, he died of a heart attack 2 years ago. After that, life just seemed…lifeless. Pointless. I didn’t care anymore.

I got to school. I feel that everyday is just a routine. A repetition, day after day. And who’s the first person I see? Sandy. Let me tell you about her. Sandy is actually very nice. She’s pretty too. Blond hair like the sun and blue eyes like the sea. Small but in a petite way. Plus she has tons of friends unlike me. I’m the outcast. And she’s the girl I bully. I’m not even sure why I bully her. I guess too get out some anger I have building up. And it’s not like Sandy does anything to defend her self. She just stands there and waits. Sandy has everything. She has a nice mother. I would know. Once I bumped into her at the parent teacher barbecue. She helped me up and said to me in a kind voice “ Are you okay sweetie?”. And I’m not sure why, maybe it was her comforting voice, but I wanted to run into her arms and start crying just like a daughter who wants her mothers love. Instead, I answered, “I’m fine” and ran away.

She also has a dad. He loves her too I’m sure. Plus she has a baby sister named Anne who was born in while we were in math class. The office called her down and told her the great news. To top it all off, she lives in a nice house. I pass by her neighborhood every day going home from school. Suddenly, something inside of me just snapped. She sees me and freezes on the spot. I start walking up to her, ready to use my fists. Why does she get everything? Why does she have a nice life while I have a bad one? Why does she have people who love her while I have no one? Why is she so lucky? Why not me? I was really angry now. The hate was just spilling everywhere. I got my fist ready for a punch when one of Sandy’s friends jumped in front of her, trying to defend her, and pushed me. I felt myself falling down the stairs. Before I knew it, everything went black.

I woke up in the emergency room. There were doctors all around me. All I heard was the words “fell” and “concussion” and “lucky”. I sure didn’t feel lucky. I closed my eyes again. I didn’t want to wake up. I wanted to be with my grandpa who always loved me. I didn’t want this life. If I were lucky, I would never wake up. I would be with my grandpa now. Everything would be great. But I’m still here. Guess I’m just not that lucky.




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