One Crazy Life

January 31, 2011
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Once upon a time, I was driving along the road and picked up two hitch hikers. I was chillin’ with some Skynyrd and Old Hank. We were driving around Taylorville blaring some crazy music. We went to the YMCA to work out. Old Hank was struggling and Skynyrd being the good man he is helped Hank out.
After working out for seven hours Skynyrd was buff and Old Hank suddenly had a heart attack. Everyone at the YMCA was freaking out and didn’t know what to do. Skynyrd pulled a beer out of his back pocket and poured it down Old Hank’s throat. Old Hank started to choke on it and then some random guy pushed me out of the way and started giving him the Heimlich maneuver. It didn’t help; it just knocked Hank’s teeth out. So we went to the dentist to get Old Hank some dentures. But the dentist told us that Old Hank had cancer, but the beer had cured it. He thought having cancer was a sign from god and decided to change his life.
Six years later, Old Hank opened up a brewery. His business wasn’t taking off very fast so he changed the names to Sam Adams. He thought to himself how he could make his beer better. So he brought Skynyrd and me into the brewery. We decided to help him out a little bit and come up with some new recipes for the beer. After making new beer and having the public come in and taste it, the business took off. We became very rich, and famous for the beer.
Skynyrd, Old Hank, and I became very successful after that year. We turned Taylorville Wal-Mart into our home and lived there for twelve years. Sam Adams became famous around the world, everyone of age was drinking it.

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