But Why?

January 25, 2011
Tick, tock. Tick, tock. The clock kept ticking, but I didn’t move a muscle. I just sat there, in that hard wooden chair, staring at the white wall in front of me. Seconds, minutes, and soon hours passed; yet I just sat there. I couldn’t get my body to move. No matter what my mind wanted me to do, I couldn’t do it. I was exhausted from living this so-called life. What was so special about it? Everybody always pushed me around, and I had to do everything anybody said. Why? Why couldn’t I make my own choices? Why couldn’t I live life the way I wanted?

Day turned into night, and I still sat there. The world was rushing around me, but it felt like nothing could touch me. Nothing could break my train of thought, not even my obnoxious parents screaming at each other downstairs. Why couldn’t life be like it was in the movies? Why couldn’t everything turn out the way it was supposed to? Why couldn’t everybody love each other?

I wonder why life is this hard. Sometimes, I wish I could be somebody else… something else. I imagine being a bird, so graceful and free, being able to go anywhere I want without anybody stopping me. That’s what I want to be in my next life- a bird.

More time passes; and I’m still sitting there, thinking. I’m pretty sure everybody is asleep, and my eyelids start feeling heavier with every second that passes. I’m also starting to become sleepy. Maybe it’s time to rest and to go to a peaceful world, at least for a few hours. I lay my head on my pillow; and soon, I’m in a magical place, soaring. I feel the wind against me, and I feel so free. I’m a bird, flying far, far away from this place I call life.

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