Cold wind and snow pierces the warmth of the inside of my car as Devon slides into the seat next to me and sets two coffee cups in the cup holder filling the car with a delicious aroma. “Whoa, it’s cold out. I’m glad you had your heat fixed last weekend,” he says. Devon’s hair is jet black with small tufts of white snow scattered across it, his eyes are big and brown, and his nose and ears are bright red from the cold winter.

“I’ve been out here for ten minutes already. You are notoriously slow!” I joke with him.

“Well, you always take forever to straighten your hair. It’s not like he’s going to care what your hair looks like.” His words are meant with good intentions, but I feel the hole swallow up the center of me, like it always does when I think of him. I peer down to the steering wheel, and we sit in silence for a few long seconds.

“Sam, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean”-

“Thanks for the coffee,” I interrupt him.

“Vanilla latte, of course,” he sighs, “Shall we get going?”

“Okay.”

I put the car into drive and start driving. I think about how many times Devon and I have made this drive. I think of our seventh birthday party. Our father rented out a pool down the street from our house and we had everybody from our second grade class come and swim for hours. There was a diving board, and our dad tried to do a flip in the air, but he went too far and smacked really hard on his back in the water. It was tomato red for hours and we all laughed about it for years. I remember the way the sun felt on my skin as I laid next to him on a towel we had laid out. The entire area smelled of chlorine. Our eyes and throat stung from swallowing the water and opening our eyes up under the water. My brother and I are twins, so we each opened up presents. My father got me a beautiful silver bracelet with “I love you, always” inscribed on it. My brother got a woven necklace with a charm that says the same thing.

“Sam,” Devon says. Lost in the memory, I hadn’t realized we were at our destination. We both step out of the car, coffee in hand. The cold wind and snow bite at me face and hands. I knew I should have brought gloves. We walk in silence, knowing right to where we are going. I look around at the familiar surroundings. Tombstones to my left and my right and a tall, wide and bare chestnut tree a few yards ahead, where the graveyard splits into four sections. We get to the tree, and turn to the left. I look up and the clouds break, for a second, revealing the almost full moon and light up the ground for a short while. The wind is picking up and the snow is whipping all around us. The tree splitting the wind makes an eerie noise. My teeth chatter, and Devon puts his arm around me pulling me close, reminding me he has always been by my side. I’ve never had to face this alone.