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Loss of Loki

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The road itself turned and twisted as the rain pelted the windshield of the GMC pickup truck. The rustic tinge of the GMC seemed to erode away like castles made of sand in the torrential downpour as Loki strained his eyes to see the yellow line. Twisting and turning down through narrow bends of the gravel roads Loki focused on staying alive. Not only for his sake, but also for Anna’s sake, Loki gripped the wheel and hoped the wheels gripped the road. Loki couldn’t afford distractions, nor entertain his desire to hold her gaze in his for a brief moment. To do so would mean the end for all three of them. Hospital. Right. Left. Left. Right. Hospital. The large sign read “emergency” and Loki darted into the parking lot.
Blurred images rushed through the present day Loki’s mind until it rested upon the final hour of Anna’s labour. The doctor asked her what he should do, save the baby or save Anna. Without hesitation Anna demanded from Loki that the baby live. Despite his protests she insisted with authority, “Let him live, please Loki, let him live.” With that the decision was made, the baby lived and Anna was gone. Just like that the twisting and turning roads by which they arrived resembled nothing less then Loki’s life. Now whenever Loki drove home, the roads turned and twisted, but not because of the rain or the roads themselves. Loki’s blurred vision was his own fault; bottle after bottle was consumed during his late night escapades.
Years flew by without even the slightest recognition from Loki. Alcohol consumed him just as much as he consumed his booze. The stale scent of beer dwelled within the dust covered walls that Loki and now Corrie called home. Loki didn’t hate Corrie nor, though, did he love him. Corrie would just sit in his room and read his books. His massive shoulders hunched over the little book and thick hands gently flipping pages with great dexterity. Loki retorted with a loud TV and a thin, weak body barely held together. They seldom spoke and when they did it usually ended with Loki yelling things that made no sense and the loud snoring as his body hit the couch. After their most recent screaming match, Corrie quietly stepped to his room to entrance himself once again in Moby Dick. Books were Corrie’s escape from the life he lived in, to the world he thrived in. Escape from the world he hated to the world he wanted, but, as always, the constant stench of stale booze reminded him that he lived in this world.
Nightmares plagued Loki’s dreams, every night he discovered a new life with Anna, only to have it taken away from him time after time. His tortured screams rattled the house and awoke Corrie from his sleep. Calling out loud for Anna over and over, night after night he twisted and he turned. Only to wake up to the silence of the small dust covered house. Corrie learned when he was younger, that his mothers name had been Anna. He had also gone to great lengths to steal a picture from the attic of her, just so he could know what she looked like. Her sparkling green eyes were like diamonds, they were shiny and sharp. Wavy blonde hair outlined her simple yet beautiful face. She wore a modest smile and looked nothing like Corrie. How she ended up with Loki was beyond Corrie. He couldn’t see past all the years of neglect and booze. Loki was just a monster and nothing else. Loki didn’t even tell Corrie how his mother died, or if she was even dead for that matter. Corrie just assumed.
The neglect continued for years to come. Corrie finally graduated high school and was top of his year. Winning every award and getting accepted into Queens University was just a stepping stone for Corrie. During Corrie’s speech Loki heard murmurs among the crowd. One comment stood out above them all. Loki heard an elderly man say, “That boy must’ve had some kind a parenting, perfect by the look of it.”
Corrie went on to achieve many great things, one of which was becoming a proud parent. Corrie phoned his father to tell him the news, “Loki, Jenna just had our baby. It’s a boy; I’ve decided to name him after you. You did nothing for me my whole life, but it seems that it was the best thing, maybe it wasn’t, who knows. All I know is that I don’t love you dad, but that doesn’t mean I hate you. Anyways, I don’t want you coming around my family; you’ve done nothing for me my whole life so why start now? I wish I had the nerve to say all this a long time ago, but I couldn’t. Goodbye Loki.” The finality of the beep rang louder than that of the gunshot. Loki’s last thoughts to himself were of Anna and how this family only needed one Loki.





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