January 12, 2011
By MCU15 BRONZE, Newmarket, Other
MCU15 BRONZE, Newmarket, Other
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

You know that fluttery feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you see that girl? You know what girl I’m talking about. The one that laughs at all your corny jokes, that one whose smile could make the most depressing old man find the joy in life again. Do you know what’s even better than the feeling you get when you see her? The feeling you get when you kiss her. The warmth of the blood rushing to your face and that kick in your stomach that makes you feel like you can do anything because you’re invincible. This is what love is... so I’m told. The closest thing to love that I’ve experienced in my pathetic seventeen years called a life, is my relationship with my Xbox. My name is Dwight Jenner but most people, actually, the few people that know who I am call me Guppy, after the fish. You see, in the sixth grade, Cory Jackson told me that if I ate a live guppy fish he’d get me a date with Madeline Weller. At the time it seemed like a pretty good deal so I ate it then threw it up onto Madeline Weller. So “Guppy” ended up being my nickname and probably will be until the day I die. For some reason, actually, for a very apparent reason I’ve been single since I broke up with my Ms. Piggy stuffed animal when I was eight. I had to cut the tie there because my family didn’t approve of her. According to my dad I was “too old” to be playing with a stuffed pig. I’d have to disagree, age is just a number, you know?
As you may or may not know, its prom season around here and I’m really hoping to have a date. I don’t know if you’ve caught on but my luck with the ladies hasn’t been the best and I was looking to see if any girls would be interested in going with me. My mom says I’m a good catch and that any girl would be lucky to go out with me. That mom of mine, one thing I really love about her is that she can always make me feel better. I think I get most of my character from her; I like to think of myself as a sensitive, very understanding fella. Is that not what a female would like in a man? If I do say so myself, I don’t think I’m a bad looking guy, I’m blonde, blue eyed and tall. Sounds pretty dreamy right? According to my doctor I’m “underweight”, but I’ve been working on that by pumping some iron. I only have fourteen days to find the perfect date to my prom and there is NO way I’ll be letting my tux go to waste. I’m making my way to the caf to scan the pond I’ll be fishing in. Game plan is to scan quickly and not stare too long at the potential female. There’s Becky Sanson, she’s cute but taken. Maybe Moira Pinkett? No, maybe if she was 3 feet shorter. What about Tiffany Mills? She’d be the perfect date! In my dreams. This is actually hopel- wait. Is she..? Is that girl looking at me? She’s really staring, is there something on my face? Clearly she sees that I’ve noticed her looking at me, isn’t that usually the hint for her to look away? This awkward eye contact is the worst. Her name is Haley Horowitz and she sits in the front of my chemistry class. Her hair is fiery red, which doesn’t work for most people, but it actually suits her pale skin and blue eyes. Maybe she would be willing to go to prom with me? I don’t think I’ve ever heard her talk so I’m sure she wouldn’t say no to me after I ask her to prom. I’ll make it really nice; I’ll buy some flowers and take a shower! I hope she thinks me showing up to her doorstep is cute and not creepy.

Flowers: smelling sweet, hair: showered and combed, face: decent. I look good, I feel good, I can do this. Dwight Guppy Jenner you can do this, you are a real man, a real manly man. “Hi Haley would you like to go to prom with me?” “Haley baby, care to come to prom?” “Haley, you have a really nice face and I would like for it to be in prom pictures next to mine.” I’ve seem to have come by her house way faster than expected, but I hope this plan works. My hand is actually shacking, I’ll wait three seconds and if she doesn’t answer I’ll just walk away, three, two, on-“oh hi Guppy”. Oh God, she’s actually home, “Hi Haley...” What do I say to her?! “Hi Guppy...” “So...uhm...would you like to go to prom with me?” There I said it, the balls in her court now. Why is she waiting so long to answer? Why is she just staring at me like that? Is there something on my face? Oh, her mouth is opening; it looks like I’ll get a response! It’s a... “no thanks, but I’ll take the flowers”.

The author's comments:
The first step of becoming a man is taking the plunge into the world of women. This short story titled Guppy is a comical composition of roughly 800 words that gives a firsthand perspective of the endeavours of Dwight Jenner, a striking, yet socially challenged high school senior. Follow Dwight on his quest to man hood as he takes on the challenging species of teenage girls.

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