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Anger Issues

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“Holy crap!” the voice of a bystander booms through her computer speakers. She stares slowly back at the title of the YouTube video: “Kid Goes Crazy and then Takes Man’s Wallet.” She just could not bring herself to believe it. Could this be the same boy she thought she knew?

“DING, DING!” The morning bell echoed in her ears as she attempted to swim through the sea of people that flooded the hallway. The smell of thick perfume and toothpaste from those who woke up no more than fifteen minutes before bombarded her senses. She was unfazed as if she in a trance. Papers flew everywhere when she bumped into an underclassman on her way into the classroom. Her usual warm, caring self deserted her and she just coldly stared at the pile of papers before disappearing into the classroom.

The class ended abruptly and her peers rushed out of the room at the end of the period. She trudged out of the classroom following a forgotten lecture. She knew that she could not avoid him this passing period. Their second period meetings were a staple of their relationship and her heartbeat quickened as she reached her locker.
“Hey what’s up?” the words rolled coolly off his tongue then lingered in the air for a moment. She turned to see him leaning up against a neighboring locker.
They stared at each other for several awkward seconds, and just as she had built up enough confidence to voice what was on her mind-“What’s up Jack,” the voice came from somewhere behind him and was accompanied by a pat on the back. Taken by surprise, his calm eyes turned furious and his arm went up ready to strike. She felt the adrenaline rush through her body and her determined look turned terrified. She could literally feel the heat of his rage for that split second.
“Oh hey Jim,” he said smoothly, as he realized who it was. His vicious expression left as quickly as it had came. The heat expired and he turned to her, “You look beautiful today.”

“Thank you,” she replied instinctively and walked silently to her next class.

She stared blankly at the board during her second period biology class. “Why was this so difficult?” she hopelessly asked herself. The introspective conversation continued in her head. A struggle continued within her confused subconscious. “He did always know how to compliment me…. No, no you saw him in that video! He’s a psycho! No you’re doing the right thing by ending it. He could hurt you…but remember when he took you to the beach?”

The conversation continued in her head for the rest of the period; her wounded feelings for him versus her logical instincts.

“Beep, beep, beep,” the bell echoed through the classroom, violently interrupting the battle raging in her head.

“I really thought about it for the whole period?” she mumbled to herself in disbelief. She found it hard to believe that she was now even farther from a decision that she started.

The rest of her classes continued like this. Her beautiful, but detached solemn exterior hid the fiery intensity of what was going on in her mind. Her heart, even handicapped by the knowledge of her boyfriend’s dangerous behavior, somehow was managing to fend off her strongest logic and reason.
With the war deadlocked, she knew there was only one thing to do: talk to him about it. She felt the cold metal locker cool her warm hand. She slowly and deliberately crossed out “Friday 10th” on her calendar. She delicately shut her locker and continued down the hallway, freeing her caged imagination. A movie began to play in her head.

“Is there something wrong with fighting?!” he angrily boomed. “There wasn’t even that much in the wallet.”

She timidly replied, “No, no I just…well…I don’t know…”

“BAM!” she felt his steel fist blast into her innocent face.

“Stop!” she pleaded

His left rose up in the air and came hurling toward her.

“Please no, I-wh…what?”

“Are. You. Okay?” she looked up at her concerned math teacher. “Rachael, are you alright? You were yelling”.

She found herself cowering up against a locker. Realizing it was just her imagination she quickly uttered, “Yeah, yeah I’m fine, sorry Ms. Thomas. I must’ve just been having a nightmare.”

She rushed away before Ms. Thomas could say anything else. The teacher stood there confused. She saw the determined look on Rachael’s face as she left. She knew the girl had a plan.

Later that night she basked in the warmth of her immaculate room.
“What time are you going out tonight?” her mother questioned from the bottom of the stairs.

“7:30, mom. Jake is picking me up,” she replied loudly. Friday was always date night for them.

The clock read 7:15 and she was completely ready. Past conversations she tried to rehearse whizzed through her subconscious as she contemplated the words she wanted to use. The memory that lingered in her mind was one from her relationship before Jake. She had the whole break-up memorized. The only problem was when she attempted to say what she wanted the words fell out in the wrong order. She knew she just had to tell him how she felt.

“Ding-Dong.”

“See-ya mom,” she said as she flew out the door.

“Bye! Be safe!” her mom yelled from the next room. Those words lingered on her mind as she walked to his car.

The door of his dad’s explorer felt cold on her hand. She felt a rush of warm air as she entered the car. The rosy cheeks she got from the cold got a little redder when he smiled and complimented her dress. “Just ask him,” she tried to urge herself.

“So I saw that video of you online,” she started calmly, “Ya know the one where you’re fighting. You’re not really like that, are?” The speed of her delivery quickened with ever word. “You didn’t actually mug that guy did you?”

His warm smile disappeared and a confused expression took over his face.
“That’s on the internet?” he asked in disbelief.





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