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Numb.

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Numb. That’s what I am. I’m numb. Nothing and no one can hurt me, because I am numb. I have to be. Bad things are always being thrown into my life. Each time I face them, I become more numb. I don’t even remember what it was like to feel pain, betrayal, heartbreak. It’s all happened so much, that I don’t even realize it anymore.

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I cry. I make myself cry, just to know that I have emotions inside of me. It won’t last long. It’s a short volcanic eruption. Tears burst from my eyes, and fall down my face. And that’s all there is. No reason. Just tears. That’s all I have left.

My best friend could turn her back to me, and never talk to me again. And just take it and say, “Whatever.” A boyfriend that I love could break up with me for someone else, and I would take it and say, “As long as you’re happy.”

When someone tells me I’m heartless, I simply say, “Okay.” I don’t dwell on it. Lives goes on. I forget the past, and move onto the future. That person was just a passerby in my life. Just another body taking up space on this planet.

Someone could try to fight me. They could punch me until I bled, and suddenly stop and say, “Fight back!” I’ll take it. With simple words. “Hit me as hard as you can.”

Nobody understands me. They think I’m a heartless freak. They wonder if I’m human. The truth is, why should I worry about the people in my life right now? In twenty years, all they will be to me are kids that went to school with me.

Some people will read this and say, “I wish I was like that. I’m tired of all of this pain.” Well, I’ll look at you and say, “I wish I was like that. I wish I could feel.” You may not like the heartbreak, the pain, or the betrayal. But that’s part of life. It’s all worth something in the end.





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