The sound of my heart on the monitor has been ringing in my ear for a while now. Like my alarm clock back home. Now I would kill to go back there. It’s were I can come out my shell. But fro now I must just rest here, says my doctor. It’ll be alright says my wife, as she rubs my arm for comfort. Sometimes I think she is lying to me. Her big brown eyes shows that she is uncomfortable and scared, but I don’t know what it is. No one tells me anything around here. They give me little crumbs of things but never the whole slice. I can tell that I’m not myself, because if I was I wouldn’t be here right now, starting at a fuzzy tv screen. The news said something about traffic on 175 because of an SUV and Toyota crashed head on, the rest was fuzzy. They need to get rid of those bunny ears. But it’s as plain as day that this hospital is cheap and that the doctors around here only care about their pay-checks instead of their pa-tients. I don’t need to be complaining though, in just a few weeks I will be out of here and I don’t mean back home. I heard him tell my wife that it was just a matter of time. After that I started to feel guilty about my past. I admit I was pretty stupid for doing the things that I did back then. If I was Einstein, I would invent a time traveling machine and go back and change everything, but we all know the odds to that happening. 0 out of 0. I don’t have the strength to pick up the phone and call. Mental or physical. Before I go I just want her to know that I am sorry, and that she will always be my little girl.
A Tardy Apolgy
November 18, 2010