Forced Love

December 4, 2010
Dear Diary,
today was the day i tid the knot as they say, all my life i'd read about it in novels. I thought this day would be the start of a whole new life but i seem to have fast forwarded to the end.
If only I could love him,but I can't love him. How can I love a man twenty years my senior?
That's wrong on so many levels I can't even begin to think what women are thinking when they go through with this.
Probably the same as I was, I kept telling myself 'be normal Katie,smile just smile' .
I knew what the village was thinking sitting there half smiling half smirking ' she's lucky she never has to worry about having a roof over her head,food to eat or clothes to wear.
But what are these materialistic things when your about to spend the rest of your life with a man you don't have the slightest liking for and call him your own.?
These comforting thoughts of material just didn't cut it for me and in that small surreal moment i wished they did, wished with all my heart.
I can hear him coming in,and now I will lose the small shred of dignity left within me to a man i can barely lookn at.

yours truly, Katie

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