The Rainfall

November 24, 2010
By OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch


My knees sank into the ground half against my will. Kneeling was against everything I believed in, but she deserved it. She did.

I leaned forward, slender piano fingers tracing the twelve letters carved in stone. The twelve letters that made me want to beat the ground and scream.
Raine Fell
R.I.P

That’s all she got. Not “beloved sister” or “kind soul”. Just R.I.P. I couldn’t bear anything else.

As my hand fell to the dirt, something sharp grated against my wrist. I glanced down, and just as quickly averted my gaze. No. They did not put that on her grave.

Please no.

I bent down and brushed my fingers across the bumpy surface of a pale blue bracelet, shaped like a rain drop. My eyes fell shut and I lost myself in the memory.



She stood there, hand in mine, beaming.

“It’s my birthday, Keene! I’m six now—six! I’m becoming a big girl.” She announced this last statement with pride.

I leaned forward and tickled her once under the arm before she skipped away, wagging her tongue at me. “Don’t you give me sass, little Raine Fell.”

Raine giggled. “My name’s so weird. Raine—Fell. Like ‘the rain fell.’”

“Yep,” I murmured. “You’re our little rainfall.” She was what kept us alive, she was what kept us thriving. She was our rainfall.

“So….” Raine ducked her head. “Did ya get me something for my birthday?”

My face lit up. I had gotten the perfect present. Absolutely perfect.

“Of course, sweetie.” I dug around in my pocket and produced to identical bracelets, both pale blue steel in the shape of a rain drop. She took one, eyes wide. “One for you, one for me.” I slipped mine on and held my forearm against hers. “See?”

Raine gazed down at our twin bracelets, enthralled. “Does this mean we’ll always be together?” she asked. I could see the hope in those brilliant blue eyes.




I lay my head against the rough marker, bracelet cupped against my chest as one lone drop fell from the sky to splinter upon the grass. “Forever,” I whispered.


The author's comments:
It was for a tear-jerker writing challenge. Was it successful?

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This article has 4 comments.


on Dec. 19 2010 at 9:50 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thanks! Yeah, she's the sister.  Keene's about twelve.

SOLONG said...
on Dec. 19 2010 at 9:01 pm
SOLONG, Mitchell, South Dakota
0 articles 0 photos 54 comments
oh my gosh this is so awsum!!  ur really great at writing these really emotional pieces!! i luv it!!  i just have one question...shes the sister right?!? because it says in the story "not 'beloved sister'" so how old is this Keene??  (interesting names btw)

on Dec. 19 2010 at 6:17 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thank you for the comment:)

 

I mean that the way it's curved and the texture is like a raindrop:)


AshTree SILVER said...
on Dec. 19 2010 at 3:50 pm
AshTree SILVER, Clarksville, Tennessee
7 articles 0 photos 196 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Live your art" -made this one up myself. Simple, but true.

I like this because of the emotion. I have a question about the bracelet tho. How is it in the shape of a raindrop? is there a charm on it that is in that shape? or did you mean the whole thing because I have a hard time picturing that. Anyway, it was a really sad but sweet story. Good job. I do like that you didn't make the character cry but showed all that emotion in him. The flashback is absolutely needed in this because of the bracelet and it was well executed. Maybe play around with the tag lines.

 

I like this.





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