Gone But Still Here: continued

I can still see him. He’s still walking around like nothing ever happened; it’s been a year. Lidia already tried to go to the police with everything she knew, but since I was already dead, they didn’t do anything about it because they had no one to testify for a dead girl so they just let him walk. Oh, I think I forgot to mention his name, it’s Jeremy-Jeremy Bowen. Well, I guess now that you know my best friend’s name and my killers name, I guess I should tell you mine. I’m Samantha, Samantha Gregg.

I am fourteen years old. Just like I was when I died. It wasn’t like I was a bad kid or anything. I would always get A’s in my classes, had the best of friends always around me, and did everything that was asked of me. I was never one to stand in a crowd either. I had a big German Sheppard as a pet that I found roaming the streets one day as a puppy. I am an only child and my mom had left me and my father when I was about three months old. Anyway, enough about me, now it’s back to my story.

Let’s see, where did I leave off? Oh yeah, well I could see Jeremy just standing there waiting to cross the street to go to the coffee shop he’s been going to ever since that night. It’s not like I can stop him. After all, like I said Lidia did everything she could to get him out of the streets and into prison like he deserves. I can’t believe that it’s been this long since my death. Tomorrow is the day that I died, I might go and see daddy. I miss him. I hope he is doing okay. He’s always the one that told me to be strong through everything. I can’t believe that I have made it this far without crying. But it feels like tomorrow will change that, if you know what I mean.

Well, I can see daddy. He’s just waking up; it’s about 11:30. He was always the one to wake up late. I was always making breakfast for him. He looks so skinny. I don’t think he’s been eating as well as he should be. I miss him so much; reading me stories before bed, asking me what’s for dinner. He always understood me. Sometimes I wish I could talk to him just one more time. Wait, there’s a newspaper scattered all across his desk; it has my name on it. Oh wow, he’s kept the obituary piece from back when I died. He should’ve moved on a long time ago. I guess being the only child it’s kind of hard to let go of the only one you ever had. I guess the silence has just kept him so far in the dark that he couldn’t fight anymore to get out..

I was walking around the house a little bit the other day; I found mom sitting in the fireplace. She’s been with daddy and me since she died I think. As soon as she saw me, she gave me a gigantic hug. I was so happy to see her; she hadn’t changed at all. We might’ve talked for six hours that day; it was so much fun.

Everyone except daddy seems to have moved on. They have their own life to live. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t such a burden with all the trouble that I have caused between him and mom. This just seems to add onto the list of things.

Jeremy has a girlfriend now; he apparently likes her a lot. I’m pretty sure this is the fifth one this month so far. It’s so frustrating to see him with all of these women and not feel anything about anything. He’s basically saying that he doesn’t give a flipping pancake about what happens in his life. If that’s his way of moving on the let him do it, please. I would love you forever if you did. He needs to be noticed about what he’s doing to these poor innocent girls; and me.

Sometimes I forget that I am where I am, so I go up to Jeremy and imagine to hit him like daddy would. It never does anything though. At most, it gives him a quick breeze to the face. Although, I have convinced some people in their sleep to go up to him and make him feel very uncomfortable. I know it doesn’t sound like much right now, but it’ll get bigger and better soon. I can promise you that one.





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