My Never Ending Journey To Happiness

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“You’ve only known him for a week.” That is the 6 word (including a contraction) phrase that has been echoing throughout my mind for the past couple hours. I reminisce all of the memories we have shared, as the warmth of my bed envelops my body in a cocoon of comfort. “Yeah, I have only known him for a week.” I say to myself as I solemnly ponder whether or not I should resign my thoughts. I ask myself this question: “Is he really worth fighting for?” Is it worth all of this high school drama, won’t he pass by just like every other guy? Maybe it’s the princess-like fantasy life I want to live, as I keep telling myself: “Oh he is the right guy! I will be with him forever.” After telling myself this same phrase 7 times and after watching 7 guys whisk by me, like they barely even knew me in the first place, I decide something needs to change. Perhaps, make people mind their own business, as a human we all have millions of problems to deal with yet people still find the need to intervene into other people’s lives to fix someone else’s problems for them. Some people consider me to have a boy obsession, and frankly, people shouldn’t care if I do or don’t because it just isn’t in their power to decide how I’m going to feel today or tomorrow. But the sad, harsh truth is that I can’t change people, and in my quest for happiness, I have to learn to get around man-kind, and search for my own joy, because it is impossible to find in anyone else.

My journey to happiness has hit a dead end. But this isn’t just any dead end, where there is a possibility to just turn the car around, and find a way to your ultimate destination in life, this is the type where you have come to a dead end on all sides. No matter how hard you try to get out you go in circles, passing the same places wondering there has to be a way in and a way out in life. But in reality we were just plopped here on earth at random. One go through life’s circles, and at some point, figures out there is nothing left to do but sit down in the middle of it all and watch as life races by. I have reached that point. As I sit, I begin to watch other people make their own circles. Some people never come to the realization to sit down and watch others, they spend their whole life making the same trip, seeing the same people and having the same experiences. Ever heard of routine? “It’s a onetime experience”, they don’t come that often, and are treasured because people overlook the good times in life, and others don’t let you live during the good times in life.

If you’re beginning to think that this is quite random, well as a matter of fact it’s not. I came to my realization after guy #7. I was dating the same type of people, with the same personality, looking for the same thing. Memories are the only real things that we have to hold on to that gives us some slight hope toward the future. That perhaps someday when everything recedes into the shadows, we will all be left with our memories. That is the only reassuring concept that is left to grasp.

As Time comes to a slow halt make memories meaning full. Hold on to each and everyone ingrained in the recession of one’s mind. Forego each wasteful memory like a scratched out line of poetry. But whatever you do don’t take the time to look back. Enjoy the present, look forward to the future, in hopes of fulfilling a never ending journey to happiness. As I just told you mine.





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