Life Unexpected.

October 18, 2010
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I live in this world that is commonly cold and loud, I don’t realize half the time why I was put here because all the time I feel lonely and I have know one to take my hand and make me feel welcomed however, I have many reasons to be happy for. I have a family who loves me and takes care of me. I know for a fact my mother and father both work very hard to do everything they can to make me happy, but in this world it’s not always enough.
I live in a small town, only thirty houses, and I hardly ever get out. I like to think I have a life but I commonly realize that I don’t. I have been through a lot as a child and hope that this opportunity will help step out of my comfort zone. I work hard for what I earn and sometimes what I work for I don’t even achieve. I have very few passions in life and that includes writing. I have big dreams for myself but, for some reason I feel like I am being held back. I feel trapped, I want to be free, and I want to feel alive.
I am only fifteen years old, and I will be turning sixteen in February and I don’t even have my permit. Problem is I am involved with so much that I don’t have time to sent in a class for six weeks and learn about driving. For some reason people always look at me funny when I give them my reason’s. I may not be some size five prissy stuck up teenager like so many guys label as hot or sexy but, I have a very strong piece of mind that I feel needs to be heard.
I have met great people who open big doors for me but, I just wonder if I will be able to be successful on my own. It also happens I am an only child, so I am uncommonly close to my mother and father and that can some times cause problems. I like to be straight forward and out there but, I like to be blunt and straight to the point. However, a lot of people don’t always know how to take my openness. I may be involved with clubs but, I am no spots star. I wish that I can sometimes be some athletic hot sports girl that plays basketball, softball, and some other awesome sport but my body just was not made like that. I am the type of girl that tries to make a name for her self but, I just don’t fit in with the people around me and I hate it.
My dream when I was growing up was to always have a posse follow me down the hall’s of high school, to have all these guys around me, to have a nice body and of course be the captain of the cheerleading team but, as I got older I knew that was not going to happen. When I watch television shows I think so many people have these perfect lives and I am now starting to realize that, that is just not true. I just don’t understand why the girls who are labeled popular are popular. I mean don’t get me wrong I have a lot of friends who are so great to me and they are juniors but, the girls in my grade are stuck up and snobby.
I always am asking myself is there something wrong with me. I never know though because, I never seem to be able to find an answer to my own question. I wish and pray that I can find who I am one day soon because, I want to loose weight so bad but, I have no reason to. I want to work for it and have a goal to loose it by a time period and do it for my self but, at this point I have no reason to.
I feel that sometimes when I open my eyes to start a new beginning I get shut down because no one wants to make the extra step in helping me become a star in the way I want to be. I am growing up fast and I wonder sometimes if it is to fast, but this is the way I look at it. You live life once so you might as well take advantage of things that come to you now rather than wait for something big to happen.
I am an only child with wonderful parents. My family has one dog and one rabbit at the moment. I am actively involved with FFA, 4-H, Jr. Leaders, S.A.D.D., and my school’s publications program. I enjoy attending various camps and conference’s when ever my schedule allows. I have big dreams for myself and no matter what people say I plan to stand up for what I believe in and go for something big.
In conclusion I plan to succeed whether or not I am accepted into this NYC writing program. I would love to have this experience and to be impacted by other young writers. I work hard to succeed in what ever I do and no matter what happens I will keep my head up and stay strong in everything that I try to accomplish. In life you will be thrown challenges that may be hard to finish, but that is why you have to work hard to always finish what you start. My life long goal is to finish what I start and be on television some way or some how.

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