"...Going On..."

October 6, 2010
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So I'm 17 going on 18 and the time is moving fast, society doesn't even bother waiting. I'm sitting here and steadily debating about the mo0ney I could be making and the duties ahead waiting for my taking. College fresh in my membrane, but the standard school rules grow old. The struggle makes me insane and the thin line between giving-up and defeat becomes bold.

So a few years later and I'm 21 going on 22, college is no longer new and alcohol and casinos are yesterdays news. I sense myself growing lazy and I often hit "snooze". It's that part of reality when your choices either benefit or leave a bruise. The economy is killing my wallet, and the government is killing my colleagues. Patience is a virtue so I take time and stall it but I'm fighting with a power above me and out of my league.

So a decade later and it's just me and Her. I'm married finally at 32 going on 33 and age is catching me. Father Time did his worst and sped up my life. I hardly even remember the hard trials or strife. I'm at an age of experience after living 10 years of my life so serious. Happily married with a family; and even kids...Just three. I have two boys and they are twins, also got a girl that loves to win. I often wish I could relive the ages of 30-40 again.

So 20 years pass and I start to feel my age. I attempted to write a story about my life but didn't write the last page due to hospital visits, medication, and rage. How could I write a story about a life I'm still living? I only pray that if I don't make it that my readers are forgiving. The kids are away to colleges in other states, its only me and my wife now having frequent debates. I'm only 53 and a whole life time awaits.

Another 20 years plus 3 passes. Now I'm 76 and reluctantly wearing glasses. Old age has made me bitter; with envy at the young, my eyes glitter. So far I've had two strokes and a heart attack. All due to the youth that I lack. My wife caters to me and my kids have their own families. Life is looking good, and I'd jump with joy if I could...but I never leave my wheelchair and society doesn't care.

Now only a month passes but it feels like forever. Sickness in my veins, they say I have cancer. They caught it too late and I have but a week to let Heaven wait. My wife will be a widow and shed tears on the pane of the window. 76 finally...and now I'm Living going on Dying...

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writergirl13 said...
Oct. 19, 2010 at 5:54 pm

That was quite something. It was very deep and a good description of what a lot of people go through when they get old. I am noticing more and more these days that no one pays attention to the basic rational psychology of human life in their stories, however I think that yours was on-target with that.


PoeticFuture replied...
Oct. 22, 2010 at 8:24 am
Thank you very much
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