Emotions Without A Limit

By , North Providence, RI
My love …. Do you remember the day we had our beautiful baby boy and then all of a sudden he was gone?

And do you remember when we named him after a famous artist?

Well , I remember everything … I remember those gorgeous eyes that he got from you, the jet-black curly hair he got from me and all the love he got from both of us

I cry every time when a new month comes by. The number 12 is the main thing that kills me inside, because that is his birthday and for the record he turns 11 months on October 12 at 7:45 pm

You were very excited when you found out that he was 7 pounds and 3 in half ounces.
You couldn’t stop thanking me for bringing him into the world!!

Once we took him home and I started breast feeding him you said “You are the most beautiful girl I have ever met”

I started to cry tears of joy because we had created him together; he came from love and hope, faith and strength… I mean he was just beautiful!

But then after seeing him turn two months we found out that his lungs got infected from something we didn’t know about. We took him to the hospital and Dr. Ramirez tried to save his life but Michael-Angelo didn’t make it

My whole heart was crushed into a million pieces. I felt like the whole world fell on me, I couldn’t stand and face the future anymore. You didn’t eat for weeks and weeks and I begged you to at least eat something but you did not want you listen to me. I understood why….. I was also hurt too, but we could’ve put a little effort to become stronger each day

You felt like dying when you got sick with anorexia, I didn’t want to loose you, no…not after loosing our son

I recently turned 14 by that time and you had turned 16 which was hard for us, but we managed to get through obstacles in life

We got all the help we needed from our loved ones and it was good enough to last us a small amount of time

But you didn’t care because you were very appreciative for every thing they’ve done for us

They were very supportive at the funeral of our son; I almost passed out of pain and sorrow when I saw his small little body inside the coffin

I didn’t expect that to happen to us, but it did for some specific reason, and now we both know that our son is in a better place watching down on us

We have to be strong and try to make it through, because if we don’t do it…. No one is going to do it for us

I loved you as much as I loved Mickey, you two were my strength, my warriors and the happiness that I lost for many years since my father left me and my family…. You two were just wonderful

Even though we are separated now, I still think of you, I still dream of you and try my best to listen to your voice through a phone

I love you because all these years you were there for me, you were my first and last love and because you brought me all the joy that I was missing

I would never replace you or our son for anything in the world and someday I would love to have another beautiful baby like Michael-Angelo

I thank God for you; I thank God for everything he gave me and I thank God for taking care of our son

I get tears in my eyes just by writing every word in this poem without a rhyme, but I don’t care because I got enough time

I miss our baby and I miss you, even if I close my eyes it can’t be true , I wish all this was just a nightmare , but I got to realize that is reality

The good thing is that I still have you and I know that you’re willing to come back to me like you said in all the letters you sent me while I was locked up for six months. You couldn’t believe how I got myself in there, but I thank you for being so supportive and for keeping my hopes up

I still remember when you said that you wanted us to get married when I turn 24 and when I get out of college, I still have the ring that you gave me in kindergarten and I have the diamond necklace you gave me for my seventh grade graduation. I got all the nice gifts that you gave me through out my childhood

My heart right now is too weak to handle my emotions and this is why I call this Emotions without a Limit because the happy parts in this poem does not reach the highest point of life, the sad parts in this poem does not reach the highest point of sadness in life… I wish I could handle all of my emotions by saying’ Please make it stop I can’t deal with this without you’’.

I need you back and I need Mickey with me. Every time I think of you guys my heart gets weak with the tears I treed in the nights but I can’t help it, these emotions don’t have a limit and I just hate it…. Please come back you’re my only happiness

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