Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

The Kidnapping

Custom User Avatar
More by this author
One day I was just looking out my bedroom window, when I feel a cold, wet glove over my mouth. So out of reaction, I start screaming. But know one can here me. I look up, and I see a mask, with just slits for the mouth, nose and eyes. So he says “ shhhh, be quite you screaming baby, BE QUITE!!!!!” He pulls out a gun, that is when I shut up. He pulls me up, with one arm and he kicks me and tells me to walk. So I do, “ walk faster!” So I do, it is dark, and my parents are out shopping, so I was just home alone, looking out onto the water. He takes me out to his black volvo, and tells me to get in the back. So I do. He drives really fast, fastest i've ever been driven. He looks up at me, that is then, right then, I recognize those eyes. I have seen them before, I just dont know were. So I ask him to take off his mask, but he refuses. I just ignore it. I ask him where we are going, but he doesn't respond. We keep on driving, and driving and driving. I look out the window, and it is dark, really dark. I think about my parents, they are probably freaking out about where I am. I look at the clock, it says 11:43 pm. Suddenly I hear that voice again, he is asking me what my name is, “ Xavier” I say, “ How old are you Xavier?” I respond and say I am 17 when I am really only 15. He seems to buy it. Few. So again, I ask were we are going, this time he responds. “ Right now, we are going to a hotel, just because I need to get some sleep. The hotel that we are going to is not a normal, it is my hotel, I own it. The beds notice when you get up in the night and they start a big alarm, so they would wake me up. That way, you can't go anywhere.” Well thats wonderful, I can't escape.

So finally we arrive at the hotel, but it is in NO way look like a hotel. This hotel only has one room, it is so small I think only 4 or 5 people could fit in it. Max. Once we get to the one room, he tells me to get into the bed, and go to sleep. I look at him and say “ I'm not tired” he looks me and pulls out his gun and says “ you mean you are tired, right?” As he says that he, slowly moves closer and closer, so by the time he finishes, the gun is pressed up the side of my head, just above my ear. So clearly I say, No, I am still not tired. Then I hear him pull his gun back, and asks me one more time, if I was tired, and once again, I replyed with a clear “NO”. I don't know why I answered that, but I guess I just wanted to die. So he carefully places his finger on the trigger and counts down, 5, 4, 3, “ are you ready to die?” I don't respond. 2,1, I cringe my eyes . 0!




Join the Discussion


This article has 11 comments. Post your own!

babyrex4 said...
Feb. 5, 2012 at 8:41 am:
Hey I think this can potentially be a great story. It really lacks description and thought though, as it was really short. There were also a lot of spelling and grammar errors, but those can be fixed along with the descriptions. This is more like the plot of your story, because it is straight to the point. But, if you fix the things I mentioned above, this little story could be above the top! I really like the whole idea of it.
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Odessa_Sterling00This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 1, 2011 at 3:01 pm:

It felt rushed, I think you should have put in more detail and the part about recognizing his eyes seemed a little weird because nothing ever happened around that part.  The grammer mistakes made it seem a little amteur-ish.  Its a good story theme, though.

 

 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
luvtaylor16 said...
Oct. 22, 2010 at 11:54 am:
OK GUYS!! Here it is, " the sequel to the kidnapping" is now published!!! If u want 2 read it u can! kk thts it!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
CrazyKid56 said...
Oct. 18, 2010 at 1:02 pm:
Good story and suspenseful..it keeps you wondering what'll happen next. Keep writing!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
luvtaylor16 said...
Oct. 17, 2010 at 2:06 pm:
Hey everyone!!! I just posted the sequel to this story!!! It is pending aproval right now! Hope you guys read it!!!! I think you will be surprised by the ending! Well ok i got to go! So please read my stuff!!!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Katie1234This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Oct. 16, 2010 at 11:46 pm:

I love the piece! It was very well written, however I think you could work on punctuation and spelling a little bit. There were a couple of parts that had me a little confused. I had to go back and check punctuation. Other than that I love it, and I think you could actually write a little sequel type thing to this. It was a total cliff hanger, and you really did have to form your own opinion on how it ended.

I don't think he died. And I would love to see where your thoughts on the endi... (more »)

 
luvtaylor16 replied...
Oct. 17, 2010 at 7:52 am :
Hey thanks, I do like this peice, also. Do you think you can point out the places where I had puncuation issues. You dont need 2 reply on Teenink, but you can e-mail me at skatekate@maine.rr.com. One thing that I thought was ironic was that both of our names are katie. lol, Good thing that you don't think that he died, and just for you, I will write a sequal to this story. OK if you would like to email me the stuff that you found wrong, feel free to. Thanks again! -Katie
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
gummi_bear97 said...
Oct. 15, 2010 at 7:41 pm:

 

awesome loved the ending even though he died

 
luvtaylor14 replied...
Oct. 16, 2010 at 6:03 pm :
Hey, you don't know he died, it is a cliff hanger, you make up the ending. If you want him to die, you can do that, if you want him to live, then make him live.
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
purplefluber said...
Oct. 13, 2010 at 9:53 pm:
Scary! Hope this never happens to me or my family. IF it did,id beat the guy up n fly away..haha...
 
luvtaylor16 replied...
Oct. 15, 2010 at 9:06 am :
thanks, i like this piece
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Site Feedback