Black-Rimmed Glasses and Toothpaste

September 28, 2010
My mom was to come home in twenty minutes, and I still hadn't gone to the store for the groceries. She was going to kill me. I'd decided to stay in the library after school because I needed to finish an essay in English, a very significant essay; it was worth 60% of my overall grade, and Mrs. Damask was intent on torturing us till the end of May came around. As soon as the essay was saved on my flash drive, I whirled around to look for the clock in the library, hoping I hadn't taken half of my afternoon. Twitching slightly, the lean minute hand slowly made it's way to the twelve. The hour hand yearned to reach the six. I was very, very late.

I ran out of the school waddling like a duck, for my messenger bag brought me down only on one side, and I held my keys on the hand opposite it. I pressed the Unlock button, and I heard my black Ford F-150 beep twice from the end of the student parking lot. I shrieked in complaint of the idiocy of my decision to stay after school. I waddled all the way, opened the door, shoved my stuff in the copilot seat, and practically hurled myself in. I was irritated to the core; I backed out of the parking lot, and sped my way to the nearest grocery store, which in this case, happened to be Wal-Mart.

I think I'd have taken less time going to the next town over and coming back, because it was packed in there. People going every which way, pushing, shoving, apparently they were having rollbacks today, and I was the only person who hadn't known. It was total chaos. I made my way through the swarm, and found the hygiene section. What had my mom wanted? Toothpaste, shampoo, her cough drops...

As I scrolled down the list in my head, with toothpaste already in hand, I crashed into someone, and I fell to the floor. All I remember is waking up, what seemed like hours later, into the strong arms of a stranger. He wore square, black rimmed glasses, and his light brown eyes were magnified behind them, as were his long eyelashes. His face was olive colored, and his arms were too. His expression was worried, and I heard no sounds of rushing people, but the faint sound of trees rustling and birds chirping. The words that managed to leave my mouth were about the most embarrassing words I'd ever heard myself say.

"You're beautiful..."

When the story was told to me of how this happened long after, I was sure I'd been on something that Autumn day.

Join the Discussion

This article has 11 comments. Post your own now!

awensman95 said...
Dec. 20, 2011 at 11:23 pm

Well I thought it was cute :) especially the end - wasn't expecting it. 


EmmyGrangerDC said...
Nov. 4, 2010 at 7:01 pm
I suppose that's okay feedback...
EmmyGrangerDC said...
Oct. 3, 2010 at 11:05 pm
Umm thanks?
apocalyptigirl said...
Oct. 3, 2010 at 9:40 pm

Hahahahha that would be extremely embarrassing. I'm not as harsh as xAllegria, but it does seem like a random story; i would expect to see something of her mom or more of the random guy. :) Would you mind reading my story? Thank you!


xAllegria said...
Oct. 3, 2010 at 8:00 pm
Your story flings back and forth a little too much, there's too much unnecessary detail and it's hard to see where it's going. You can write, at least ;)
Mykindapeopledontcarewhatyouthink replied...
Nov. 28, 2010 at 5:15 pm
Wow. That was harsh. I liked not knowing where it was going and what you called "unnessasary details" gives us a feel for the story and the setting. 
xAllegria replied...
Nov. 28, 2010 at 8:10 pm
Sorry, I'm always a bit harsh when I comment, I just like letting people know what comes to my mind directly. But I definitely like the piece- the only thing that disturbed me is the way you expect the details to contribute more to the story. So what the writer should do is maybe flesh out the action part a little more, because the setting of the scene takes about 3/4 of the story. Which isn't a bad thing, only the reader feels a little disappointed that we don't get more of a "story" after. :) ... (more »)
EmmyGrangerDC replied...
Nov. 28, 2010 at 9:43 pm
Yeah I was a bit taken aback by your comment, but I appreciate the honesty. See, I've noticed that in most of my pieces I don't give ENOUGH information, which is why I tried my hardest to give some in this piece. I guess I gave way too much. At least now I know where my ground is. Thanks.
xAllegria replied...
Nov. 28, 2010 at 10:00 pm
The details are okay, actually, as Mykindapeople said, the problem is that they're not used for the rest of the story when they could add a lot of spice, and it seems like the details are too focused on the beginning of the story and then the action is quite short. Glad you're not offended or anything, your style is quite good, it's basically the structure which needs work :)
Mykindapeopledontcarewhatyouthink replied...
Nov. 29, 2010 at 3:12 pm
I read some of your work and i found it to be amazing. and you do know what you're talking about. Have you taken creative writing classes?
EmmyGrangerDC replied...
May 19, 2011 at 10:32 am
Umm, I didn't take creatice writing classes but I had an English teacher that pushed me to writing. My dad is also an influence, to. He wants me to finish a book someday.
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