Love, it's such a funny word to say- I love you, but what is it exactly? Is it a funny feeling that you get when you have a crush on the new boy? Or, is it the pain that you feel when somebody you didn't realize was there, left?

Lots of people think love is this, or love is that. Not everybody has a chance to feel it though. One of my friends got to feel it first hand, before it left her.

This is her story.


Summer was finally here and Karissa was ready to go to the party.

"Katie, please, I have to go. Hurry up. Marcus is going to be there!" Katie had first seen Marcus when he walked down the hallway of our High School. Marcus, the tall, dark-haired boy with tan skin and big muscles was not suspicious of Karissa's sweet and innocent act. Before long, Karissa was toying with him just like any other boy. She needed to learn that you can't mess with people's hearts; you'll get hurt.

"Karissa, I think you should stop messing with Marcus. He needs to know the truth- that you don't really love him." She gave me an abrupt look and I knew what she was going to say.

"Who says I don't really love him?" She would always say that. She would always get defensive.

I threw my hands up in defeat and finally headed out the door.

When we reached the party, the block was already full and I couldn't find a parking spot.

"We'll have to go around the the other side."

"No no, just park here." Karissa pointed to an empty driveway and I hesitated; not knowing if anybody was going to be needing that spot, but pulled in anyway.

Before Karissa got out of the car I said, "You need to tell him. One of you is going to get hurt." She brushed it off.

"Not me of course." She got out of the car.

Maybe it will be you this time. I thought to myself as I reached the inside of the house.

Music was blazing, beer was getting passed around and I was thankful to spot Karissa in the middle of it all. She was standing there with Marcus. His Italian eyes found mine and he just smiled as I was welcomed into the circle.

"Hey hey, what's goin' on!" Somebody said before I could say anything. Some dude just walked right through our little patch of friends and kept on going.

Karissa let out a laugh and kind of screamed this to me: "I'm going to go get some soda, want some?" I shook my head, but stopped her before she could leave.

"Did you tell him yet?" I tried to whisper.

"No, I haven't. And I'm not going to Katie, leave it alone." She stormed pass me and I saw Marcus going to get her.

"Marcus wait." I grabbed his arm and led him away from our friends so they wouldn't hear.

"What's up little K?" I ignored the pet name and began to tell him what was really going on with Karissa.

His face dropped when I told him that it was all an act. I told him how she had been planning on dating him, then dumping him one week before prom and going with another guy. I told him that it wasn't his fault and that she does it with every guy.

Marcus didn't seem to think that I was helping him because he smashed his hand into the wall. Leaving a big dent- with blood.

I stared, wide-eyed at what had just occured in front of me and I had to process it through my head a couple times.

"Your hand... Bleeding... Everywhere." I didn't speak loud enough so he couldn't hear what else I had to say; I couldn't even hear what else I was saying. He looked down at his hand.

Without missing a beat, he went over to Karissa when she came back and pulled her to the side. I saw him yelling at her. I wanted so badly to go over there and tell him that it was all a lie.

After about five minutes, it was all over; they were over. Karcus, the name everybody gave them, was done, finished, no more, gone.

Karissa came over to me, in tears.

"Why did he have to do that? He couldn't have done this to me." I hugged her, letting her cry on my shoulder. When she finally ran out of tears, I asked her why she was so upset; she didn't love him.

"Well, you know when I said that I had to tell you something?" I nodded, recalling earlier that night.

"I was going to tell you that I really did love him. I loved him with all my heart. Yes, at the beginning I was being selfish and uncaring, but he was the only boy that actually treated me as if I mattered. He listened to me, payed attention. He was like no other boy at our school. And now he's... Gone!" The tears started coming again and this time, I joined in.

It was all my fault that this happened all my fault that Karissa's heart got broken.

"Karissa, I think I have to tell you something."

She looked up at me with tear-stained eyes.

"I told Marcus that you didn't love him, that it was all a joke." Karissa's face twisted in horror as her best friend revealed this terrible secret.

"You... You..." She couldn't get anything else out before she ran out of the house. She started running home, which was only three blocks away.

"Karissa, please, please forgive me." I whispered to myself as I went to go find Marcus and sort this out.

Marcus didn't believe me and he told me that he would not be taking Karissa back- ever. Over the summer, I tried convincing him, but it wasn't working. He had already moved onto another girl and wasn't looking back.

About a week before school started, I got a phone call from Karissa's mother.

"Hello Mrs. Tyler."

"Katie, Karissa's dead. She comitted suicide this morning."

The funeral was nothing fancy, a coffin filled with love and memories. A coffin filled with what used to be my best friend- still is. I walked up towards Karissa's body and was astounished at how much it didn't look like her.

I got a pat on the shoulder and I turned around as I was handed a sheet of paper.

"It has your name on it." Mrs. Tyler told me. She walked away with her husband as I opened the paper, it read:

Katie,
I understand that you were trying to do the right thing. At the beginning, I didn't understand why you did it, but now I do. And I love you for that. You're my best friend in the entire world- don't ever forget that. I wished things would have gotten better with Marcus and I, but it didn't. I couldn't live knowing that the only person that I loved in my life was finally gone. I had to end my life- I had to. Please understand that. I do not blame this on you. I don't blame it on anybody really. I love you, I always will.
-Karissa
P.S- Love Kills

I burst into tears and the letter fell out of my hands as I covered my face.

Love Kills.