Their Favorite Joke

September 20, 2010
By hancampbell GOLD, Woodside, California
hancampbell GOLD, Woodside, California
19 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you will join us, and the world will live as one." <3

"Not all who wander are lost"


Wanna hear a joke? This one’s been going around my school for a while now, and it still hasn’t worn out. Everyone else laughs at the story, I’m sure you will too. It goes something like this:

Once upon a time there was a girl. Brown mousy hair, pale blue eyes--you know the type. The shy girl in the back of the room who needs glasses to see the board. The one who usually gets As on her assignments, and all the teachers like her. Funny how the teachers always like the ugly ones, isn’t it? Maybe it’s pity, maybe it’s because they tend to do better in school… But that’s beside the point. The girl had a small chest, large thighs, and a normal sized butt. She wore a purity ring on her left hand--more a promise to herself than to anyone else-- and she looked at her feet when she walked. Her nose was slightly larger than normal, and her lips on the thin side. Her eyes squinted when she smiled, and braces lined her teeth. She had had the braces for eight years, and she never learned to speak properly, so she lisped. She was skinny, and her chin slightly receded back. Highly self conscious of her laugh, she merely smiled when a funny situation occurred.

All she ever wanted was to fit in. Protected by a heavy shell, she rarely let anybody close to her. Yet everyone who didn’t know her whispered. The whispers danced tauntingly around her, begging for her attention. She knew her fellow classmates laughed when she mispronounced the ‘S’ sound. She saw them advert their gaze in the hallways--and she pretended she didn’t care. When, really, she did.

All she ever wanted was to fit in. To have a real friend--a best friend. She’d never had a best friend. Over the years, she’d befriended a mere handful of people. Even then, they were never that close. She rarely hung out with them, as social situations made her feel awkward. She’d never had a boyfriend, never been kissed… She spent her weekends doing homework, knitting, writing, reading. She sought refuge in the lives of the fictional characters she had grown to love and care for. While everyone else was at a party, or the movies, or a dance, she would sit at home, reading one of her favorite books for the umpteenth time. She pretended she didn’t care when she heard people talking about their adventures on Friday night. When really, she did.

But she wasn’t always like this. Years of depression and suicidal thoughts led her to believe that everyone was against her. Her voice shakes when she speaks to the class because she knows that they’re all making fun of her. She looks at her feet to avoid the scrutinizing and judging stares. She’s never, not once, been told that she’s beautiful. But she hangs on…

Deaths of loved ones shatter her heart. Lost friendships make her want to scream. Lonely nights and haunting nightmares replay constantly in her mind. All the fears, all the stolen promises, all the broken dreams, all the ashes of the yesterdays she longed to forget-- they made her shell stronger, stronger, stronger… And if you look at her neck, observe it, closely, really look at it… You can still make out the marks of the noose in which she tried to take her life.

Well, that’s the joke. Was it funny, did you laugh? Don’t worry, you’re not the only one who finds it hilarious… You’re not the only one who laughed… They all laugh at me.


The author's comments:
This story is based on real life events, but it is not entirely factual: merely an exaggeration of those events. Hope you all enjoy(:

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This article has 26 comments.


on Dec. 26 2011 at 6:19 pm
HiddenAngelInTheDark PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York
39 articles 0 photos 179 comments

Favorite Quote:
Theres so many that I can't pick sorry

I love it and I think everyone can relate to it in some way :) keep up the good work

Mayim12 BRONZE said...
on Jan. 17 2011 at 4:09 pm
Mayim12 BRONZE, Elk Grove, California
4 articles 0 photos 40 comments
Okay! I will.

on Jan. 17 2011 at 4:06 pm
hancampbell GOLD, Woodside, California
19 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you will join us, and the world will live as one." <3

"Not all who wander are lost"

Thanks for your comment(: And I am so sorry that you've had to go through that. If you ever need to talk, hit me up, alright?

Mayim12 BRONZE said...
on Jan. 16 2011 at 1:07 am
Mayim12 BRONZE, Elk Grove, California
4 articles 0 photos 40 comments
I loved this story, its pretty relate able to me.

on Oct. 1 2010 at 6:20 pm
hancampbell GOLD, Woodside, California
19 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you will join us, and the world will live as one." <3

"Not all who wander are lost"

Thank you! And it's mostly fiction, haha, (luckily). (: Thanks again! 

on Oct. 1 2010 at 6:18 pm
hancampbell GOLD, Woodside, California
19 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you will join us, and the world will live as one." <3

"Not all who wander are lost"

Thank you! And sorry about the tenses, haha, my teachers are always on my case about that.. 

on Oct. 1 2010 at 6:17 pm
hancampbell GOLD, Woodside, California
19 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you will join us, and the world will live as one." <3

"Not all who wander are lost"

Thank you! I commented and rated The Other Side of the Door. (: Thanks again!

on Oct. 1 2010 at 10:42 am
thestorycritic GOLD, Hyderabad, Other
12 articles 0 photos 74 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live life King Size

Like AsIAm said, it was a little disturbing. And hopefully NOT true.

And well, the girl in the article.. well she's part me :)


AsIAm PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 30 2010 at 10:03 pm
AsIAm PLATINUM, Somewhere, North Carolina
48 articles 3 photos 608 comments

Favorite Quote:
"According to some, heroic deaths are admirable things. (Generally those who don't have to do it. Politicians and writers spring to mind.) I've never been convinced by this argument, mainly because, no matter how cool, stylish, composed, unflappable, manly, or defiant you are, at the end of the day you're also dead. Which is a little too permanent for my liking." — Jonathan Stroud (Ptolemy's Gate)

The Good: This was amazing, disturbing, ironic, WOW.  Great writing!!!!!!

The Bad: Don't swap tenses on me - it ruins the moment! :D

The Random: I SINCERELY hope this isn't true. 


CSHCSH GOLD said...
on Sep. 29 2010 at 7:09 am
CSHCSH GOLD, Jakarta, Other
16 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everybody tries to change the world, but nobody tries to change themselves
-Leo Tolstoy

this is a REALLY good story... and i instantly fell in love with it. i loved the ending coz it was so dramatic.... please check out my work too and rate it! i am rating this full five stars!!

on Sep. 27 2010 at 6:32 pm
hancampbell GOLD, Woodside, California
19 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you will join us, and the world will live as one." <3

"Not all who wander are lost"

Thanks so much for the feedback! I'll work on the paragraphs with synopsis. Thanks! (:

on Sep. 26 2010 at 6:22 pm

simon cowell feedback--you asked for it!

ghaaaa it started off SO good!!! so effing good and then you started synopsis-narrating OMFG it was soo good and the closing paragraph was pretty good and what the effing effidy eff eff eff bleeeep eff eff

ok so here's what you need to do. Look at areas in the story where you wrote a summary and either flesh them out with narration or allude to the events.

For instance: "Years of depression and suicidal thoughts led her to believe..." is a synopsis. No!!! Don't ruin your story with synopsis!!! it was so good before!

Change your synopsises into allusions--or delete sentences like that altogether. I don't want to cramp your style by saying "write something like this" so you're on your own lol.

The third to last and second to last paragraphs need a lot of work. Take out all those synopsis sentences and make them powerful artful sentences. I know you can do it because you did it AMAZINGLY WELL in the first two paragraphs. but then you sort of got away from it. Don't be afraid to experiment with symbolism and figurative langauge. Keep that unique voice that you established early on! don't get lazy and use synopsis language because that makes it look like a sob story instead of a masterpiece. MAKE IT A MASTERPIECE I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!


on Sep. 25 2010 at 4:01 pm
hancampbell GOLD, Woodside, California
19 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you will join us, and the world will live as one." <3

"Not all who wander are lost"

Thank you! I read and commented Me and My Questions--It's such a great story, and there are so many people (like myself) who can relate(: And you're totally right, our stories are kind of similar! I guess we shy girls think alike, yea? (: 

on Sep. 25 2010 at 2:53 pm
DifferentTeen PLATINUM, Seaford, Delaware
32 articles 2 photos 332 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There’s no such thing as true love, just spurts of insanity—falling over and over again, thinking that won’t happen to me"

Wow! This is defienatly going in my favorites. I love how you describe this, but you don't go into over details. I can relate to her feelings, and her self confidence level. This reminds me of my article Me And My Questions. It's not not exactly the same but you could check it out if you want.

Anyway, amazing job, your a great writer. Keep it up!


on Sep. 24 2010 at 11:15 pm
hancampbell GOLD, Woodside, California
19 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you will join us, and the world will live as one." <3

"Not all who wander are lost"

Thanks! And I wear a purity ring, too! What a coincidence(:

on Sep. 24 2010 at 8:43 am
living4God BRONZE, Matthews, North Carolina
3 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
'Be content with God but discontent with how you serve God.'

Courage isn't the absense of fear, it's the ability to do what you have to do in spite of it

Your story is so emotional and I think it was well written :) I like how she has a purity ring because I have one and you never hear aBOUT PROPLEPEOPLE WEARING THEM :)

on Sep. 23 2010 at 7:03 pm
hancampbell GOLD, Woodside, California
19 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you will join us, and the world will live as one." <3

"Not all who wander are lost"

Thank you so much for your feedback! People are always telling me I use fragments and "..." too much; I guess old habits are hard to break, yea? I'll try to omit those guys in the future, haha(: Thanks again for your suggestions! (:

on Sep. 23 2010 at 6:59 pm
hancampbell GOLD, Woodside, California
19 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you will join us, and the world will live as one." <3

"Not all who wander are lost"

Thank you(:

on Sep. 23 2010 at 1:23 pm
PussnBoots GOLD, Tomahawk, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 138 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When life hands you lemons, make apple juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it." -Unknown
"The world is my pineapple. I just have to figure out a way past the prickly parts." -Me

Hmmm....

This is a very powerful piece. You put a lot of emotion into this, and there's some good voice in it.

The things that I thought weren't so great were the "..."s. The way you put the "..."s makes it confusing. And another thing to look at is "When, really, she did." The "When, really, she did." shouldn't be a separate sentence. While I know fragments can be used to show some sort of emotion, in this case there shouldn't be a fragment. It's a little confusing, and I had to go back over and read it again to get it.

Other than that, I like it. I really got what it was talking about, and sadly, this happens waaaayyy too much. Write more! ;)


on Sep. 22 2010 at 11:52 pm
AgnotTheOdd GOLD, Aptos, California
17 articles 0 photos 315 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The reason for your unreasonable treatment of my reason so enfeebles my reason that I have reason to complain of your reason" ~ Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

Very nice ending.

Im not sure what else to say, its very overwhelming (in a good way)



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