Eh. It was a bad day.

September 15, 2010
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Motionless. Breathless. Open-minded. The dark makes my eyes open wide and the smothering ceiling of my surroundings hampers my gaze into the far distance of what lies before me. Nothing. I am worthless. I am motionless. I am breathless. And forever open-minded. But the stress of the moment makes the openness in my mind seem small, and the mistakes of my past echo in the emptiness of my deteriorating soul. Nothing, I tell myself, nothing. Nothing matters anymore. I am trapped in a world of decisions, stupidity and anxiety. Stress, crime and the dreams of becoming a somebody. But I can’t. I am a nobody. I am a nothing. If only I had known, that life was this cruel. Life is no longer precious. Life is no longer priceless. Life is a place where you a one tear in the dropping rain, where you can scream with all of you might and no one will hear you. Life is selfish. It is one over fanaticized, over exaggerated, and one over stimulated lie. I gives you a label that you must live up to. But what if I had the choice? What if I didn’t want to go through life being observed and categorized? What if I want to be different? Being different is making a stand in what you believe in, not for your own selfish reasons. People say, “The world doesn’t revolve around you!”, but maybe it should. I’m so tired of waking up every morning, going through the motions having nothing to live for. Why can’t I give them something to live for? Why can’t I give you something to live for? Give me one good reason.

I was born to be that one. I was born to live.
This is not living. Living is looking forward to something everyday. Living is knowing that if something falls out of your life, it is because something better is coming to replace it. Living is loving. Living is getting to feel the submerging pressure of just thinking, wow, I really do have it good.
This is not living. We need change. We need difference. We need to bring life back into living. Life needs to be precious, priceless, fun, and instead of breathless, it should be taking in a new breath of air thinking how lucky you are. We need change.

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