Is She Out There? Chapter two: The Next Beginning.

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I went down the street to this ice cream place that I've been going to since I was seven. The first place my dad ever took me, he was home from the war and said this is wear he went as a kid, but now that my dad's all depressed and isn't talking to anyone, this is my spot. I enjoyed my favorite iteam of the menu, stawberry sunday, but with extra stawberries. I forced myself to eat something even though I didn't have much of an appetite. "Taylor! Oh my gosh! Is that you?" I turned around realizing it was Olivia. "Hey! What have you been doing all summer? It's been forever girl!" nobody has talked like that since the seventies, but Olivia always was perky and trying to put a smile on everyones face. "Hi Olivia." I said with absolutly no excitment. "What's wrong?" Marked Olivia without her no sign of happiness.

"My sister."

"Oh, sorry I heard about that." Then she hugged me and I thought this would be totally awkward, but odly I was okay with it. "If there's anything you wanna talk about my door is always open! I promise!" She said with a bright smile. "Olivia!" called her boyfriend Erick. "Time to go!" "I'll catch you later Taylor! You've got my number right?" whispered Olivia. "Yeah." Was my last words until I had gotten into my car ready to go home. I reached into my purse and pulled out my journal. I wrote about seeing Olivia today then i drove back home. My mother was sitting on the front porch on her rocking chair reading a book she had just started and not surprisingly she was half way through it. "I'm back." I turned to her and said. "Good!" I was surprised too hear her talk. "I made dinner while you were gone. There's still some speghetti on the oven unless you're brothers finished it off." I walked into the house and of coarse my brothers were wrestling over who gets the remote. "Settle down!" I yelled from the kitchen. "What are you doing back so early? Figured you'd be out with your boyfriend doing some smoochy smooch!" Replied so ignorantly by Jeremy. I just walked into my mother and fathers bedroom to check on my dad. "Hi daddy, you okay?" Even though I knew he wasn't. "I'm fine dear." He said while rubbing the tears from his eyes. "Is everyone else doing okay?"

"Yeah. Mom is reading a book and the boys are fighting over the remote, so i guess we're back to normal." he just looked at me and smiled then blew his nose. "You're a good girl"

"Well, I'm not bad if that's what you mean. Did you have dinner?"

"Not hungry, but there is something I would like to do." He said as he got up, grabbed him his car keys and started to head for the door. "Coming?" We headed out through the hallway, down the stairs, through the kitchen to see the boys still wrestling. "We'll be back, okay boys? behave!" Said father. "See yah!" yelled one. "Toota loo" called the other.





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EmseaHailey said...
Nov. 20, 2010 at 9:51 am
yeah- make sure you start a new paragraph every time someone new speaks, and read it out loud sometimes- that will help fix some of the mistakes in the order.  But it sounds like a great story- but I get the feeling it's not done yet.  What happened to the sister?  I'm assuming she died, but how?  How old was she?
 
EmseaHailey replied...
Nov. 20, 2010 at 12:07 pm
sorry- just realized it's just one chapter...of course it's not done...great job.  (I feel stupid now...:)
 
its_just_me said...
Sept. 11, 2010 at 5:53 pm
Your spelling and punctuation need work. But otherwise, this was good hun:) Tell me when you post the others, m'kay? :)
 
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