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loved and lost, over and over again

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I sat quietly, unsure of what to say. He shook his head, telling me not to say anything. His sharp features blurred as my eyes filled with tears.

"Don't. There's nothing you can say or do to change things, so don't even try." Before, he would have reached out to comfort me, but now he just turned away, as if he couldn't bear the sight of me.

I couldn't hold the tears in anymore, and I fled, running away from him as the tears streamed hot and wet down my cheeks. I thought I heard him call my name, but that was probably just wishful thinking.

We had been standing in the street in front of my house, and instead of running inside and having to explain what had happened to my parents and older sister, I ran into the backyard and climbed into the tree house. There, I collapsed into heart wrenching, throat burning sobs.

If he was still standing out front, he would be able to hear me. Maybe he'd feel guilty. Maybe he would want to come and comfort me, make all this better. But he's too arrogant to take anything back. I knew this was it.

In two months, we'd start high school, and he was moving away. That's why he said we couldn't even be friends anymore. He wanted no ties to this godforsaken place. He'd been telling me the same thing for months, only to comfort me and then say it again. He'd be back here tomorrow, saying we could make it work, he couldn't live without me.

I wonder when I started wishing for his lies instead of the truth.





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