Running From Myself

August 27, 2010
Shh. It’s okay. You’re in a happier place now. See those flowers over there? They’re pretty aren’t they? No, don’t cry. It’s okay. You don’t need those people. Those people crush your dreams, your life. All you need is me and yourself. You’re better off without those people anyway. You can survive with me, you’ll make it. Remember that the life you just left was a nightmare. It was killing you. Now shh, go to sleep and I’ll see you in the morning.

This is the voice that tells me lies in my head daily. I am running. Running away from myself. Running away from everything that perfect and healthy. But it really wasn’t. If you dug deeper like I once did, you would find the most horrible things there. Once I discovered those things, my world suddenly broke in half and nothing looked beautiful anymore. I could see past the lies that everything was just peachy keen. It was black and white for me. Nothing mattered after that day. The day I discovered myself.

I am a broken child. I have an eating disorder. People who were once my best friends reject me for who I really am. I am a broken child with a broken family. But it’s okay. Because I’ve run away from all that. And now all I have is myself and my broken world. But it’s okay. I can make it. If not… oh well, life isn’t worth living for anyway….

Good morning. How did you sleep? Good I hope. Don’t cry. It’s okay; remember you ran away from yourself? That was a good thing. You can survive because of it.

These are the lies that greet me everyday.

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This article has 2 comments. Post your own now!

theitgurl said...
Sept. 12, 2010 at 4:14 pm

This is really good honey! You are strong enough to get through this. Make new friends, think positive, and be yourself.


Lovely_Lauren replied...
Sept. 13, 2010 at 10:02 am
lol i love you too(: thanks babe! <3
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