May 30, 2010

August 25, 2010
I walk through the sliding doors and glance up at the store logo. I have to fight urge to laugh at the irony. I glance around, where is she? Why isn't she at her usual register? Where is she?! Ah, there she is, standing there, smiling and laughing. Who's that man she's talking to? Is that my replacement? No, no he's far too young.


I walk towards her, slipping my hand into my coat. I feel cold metal on my hand. She hears me come up behind her and turns to face me.


“Oh Mervin,” She says to me shaking her head and smiling that infuriatingly attractive smile, “It's been so long! I can't talk right now, but I'll be off at noon, we could talk then.”


I smile back and pull my gun out from under my coat. This is the moment I've been imagining for months. I'd planned out exactly what I'd do, exactly what I'd say, but right now I can't remember any of it so I just shoot her. Someone screams and everyone is divining to the ground. I shoot her again and she falls to the ground. Yeah, let's still be friends. A man is screaming at me to “calm down”. I resist the urge to put a bullet through his open mouth and tell him to get out out of the building.


People are running everywhere and screaming. I see children clutched in their parents' arms screaming in fear and confusion. A woman is pushed into the windows and falls down. When she gets up her arm is bleeding. It wasn't supposed to be like this, everything has gone wrong.


I hear sirens and shouts from the parking lot. The police are here. Man they move fast. Here they are now, running in guns drawn, ready to take me down. One of them shouts at me to put down my gun.


The doctors told me that I have less than a year to live, I bet that they had no idea how much less. I think about my daughter and her kids as I place my gun against my head. I think about how much I love, or loved I guess it is now, Guadalupe, why couldn't she just love me back? It would have been so much easier. Why why why why? I think about what the headline will be in the paper tomorrow “Crazy dying homeless guy kills ex” probably. Well, who cares about any of that? I pull the trigger.





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