It was at this point of uncertainty that I decided I could finally take in the refined setting allotted within the castle. Ball gowns and tuxedoes galore. As I glanced over my thin glass of champagne, an overwhelming scene of merry women with hair in piles atop their heads and multiple skirts enveloping their bodices filled me up as much as my corset allowed. Lofty men had no struggle charming young women into yet another dance, requesting upon an evening as flawless as the deep black silk painting their muscular bodies. My head was forced down as I took another sip of champagne to fetch my emotions which at this point were scattered about the shimmering marble-encased hall. I kept my own uncomfortable body small against the cold stone railing as to avoid the spread of uneasiness that was beating at my innards along with the quick pace of my heart. Awaiting the arrival of a desired man whom you may or may not even deserve, hoping that the arrival of He would allow you to join your fellow sanguine youths in some necessary pleasure, was in retrospect a truly agonizing feeling.