Is She Out There? | Teen Ink

Is She Out There?

August 28, 2010
By jennifur GOLD, Youngstown, Pennsylvania
jennifur GOLD, Youngstown, Pennsylvania
12 articles 4 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
"even after all this time the sun never says to the earth 'you owe me.' see what happens with a love like that? it lights up the sky." -hafiz


"Sammi! Breakfast is ready! Sammi... You up? Sammi? WAKE UP! Honey...?" The mother of Sammi Willson, Grace Willson, She was said to have turned over her daughter realizing she was shot in the heart twice, and once in the heart. No traces were left behind of anything. Shooting was approximately at 12 a.m. last night. If any information please contact local police. That was my morning news. My sister was shot. This was my family morning. We all sat in silence: me(Taylor Willson), my brothers(Jeremy Wilsson and Tucker Willson), my father(Jerry Willson) and of coarse my mother. It was Saturday June 10th, 2009. The day i wished my life ended. Altough this wasn't my first loss. Last month my Cousin died of breast cancer, a year ago my grandmother died of murder. They still havent found out who killed her. I have. Every clue is written in my book. My book is everything. i never leave the house without it. I wouldn't, I couldn't. Not to worry about me, death is something i get over easily. Every ending is a new beginning, at least thats what mother says. Soon before i knew it I was the last one at the kitchen table. I wasn't hungry, but i told my mother i was getting some ice cream and I'd be back in a little. She nodded her head as if she just couldn't talk without crying.



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This article has 8 comments.


jennifur GOLD said...
on Sep. 2 2010 at 7:24 pm
jennifur GOLD, Youngstown, Pennsylvania
12 articles 4 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
"even after all this time the sun never says to the earth 'you owe me.' see what happens with a love like that? it lights up the sky." -hafiz

hah . yeah . thanks kelc . yer funny(: i'm gonna check out your articles out now!

on Sep. 1 2010 at 7:45 pm
its_just_me PLATINUM, Greensburg, Pennsylvania
36 articles 0 photos 82 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not measured by the amount of breath's you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.

P.S. Bubbles rock! I told you I'm crazy:)

on Sep. 1 2010 at 7:17 pm
its_just_me PLATINUM, Greensburg, Pennsylvania
36 articles 0 photos 82 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not measured by the amount of breath's you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.

Love ya, babe! Haha:) I'm glad I got you started on writing! Hidden talents are surfacing for the two of us! Love, your twinny:)

Babylufin GOLD said...
on Sep. 1 2010 at 5:46 pm
Babylufin GOLD, Liberal, Missouri
13 articles 2 photos 229 comments

Favorite Quote:
"'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11. Thank you Lord, for this future you've given me.

Okay, couple things here. :)

1: You should learn to use a semi-colon... It would be a lot better in certain spots than a period.

2: Seperate paragraphs will make the story LOOK more appealing, too. A story isn't only about it's words. A lot of people aren't going to go grab a 300-page book that has tiny print, it's all one paragraph, and in a completely boring font.

3: I think this story line is absolutely mind-blowingly beautiful. It's awesome, or epic, or freaking fantastic. I never would have came up with it. All the loss Taylor has gone through in ONE year, is outstanding; yet still completely believable.

Overall, I love this! :)

I'd really appreciate it if you took a look/rated/posted a comment on a piece of my work. :) Preferably Don't Worry, Be Happy or Hidden Lives. :) I'm also working on a mini-series called Don't Kill Me Now, if you'd like to take a look at that. Even if you don't read anything, I appreciate you reading this comment and I hope it helps! :)


jennifur GOLD said...
on Aug. 31 2010 at 6:08 pm
jennifur GOLD, Youngstown, Pennsylvania
12 articles 4 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
"even after all this time the sun never says to the earth 'you owe me.' see what happens with a love like that? it lights up the sky." -hafiz

thanks for the advice! i'll have to remember that in my next stories! i will deffinetly check out any of your psotings and rate them whenever i can! thanks again, -Jenna(:

jennifur GOLD said...
on Aug. 31 2010 at 6:06 pm
jennifur GOLD, Youngstown, Pennsylvania
12 articles 4 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
"even after all this time the sun never says to the earth 'you owe me.' see what happens with a love like that? it lights up the sky." -hafiz

yes! thats just the first chapter. manymore will be coming soon, please check out more of my stories after they're posted and i will most deffinelty rate yours(: thanks so much! -Jenna(:

on Aug. 31 2010 at 5:25 pm
NeverCaredForKool-Aid GOLD, Elkridge, Maryland
13 articles 0 photos 531 comments

Favorite Quote:
I don't believe in hell but I believe in my parent's couch-- Watsky

This was totally cool- it could be a great start to an awesome story.  I love how you didn't focus on the sister's death as much as many stories do, you went right to the amin character and her ever-improtant journal.  I liked this story, but there was one grammar mistake I found and one question I had:

"Cousin" shouldn't be capitalized

"She was said to have turned over her daughter realizing she was shot in the heart twice, and one in the heart"  Did you mean to have said shot in the head twice, and once in the heart?

Anyway, I liked this story very much, you are a good writer :)

Can you comment and rate my story, "Encounter"?


on Aug. 31 2010 at 3:53 pm
datrumpeter PLATINUM, Jefferson City, Missouri
40 articles 6 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
'Before you insult someone, walk a mile in their shoes. that way, when you insult them, you'll be a mile away from them and you'll have their shoes.'

is there more?? i really liked this, but it seems unfinished 2 me.