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Where's My Angel?

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She ran, she had to. She couldn’t stand one more heartbreak. Her muscles were burning, she was gasping, every thing hurt. But the pain felt glorious, so on she went.

She passed the corner store where her mom worked. She didn’t even want to go inside; she didn’t want to stop running. She ran down Logan Street, passing the pizza place where she and Eli had their first date. Tears erupted from her eyes. She ran faster, into the park where there were never any heart breaks. She found the bench that was dedicated to her sister, Anna Marie. Anna had died in a terrible car crash just two years before. They had been the best of friends; Anna was only 4 years older then she.

“Liz! You can’t run off like that” she could hear that his voice was hoarse from running after her. She gripped the bench in front of her, praying the tears would stop so she could be strong and face him. He was the only one who ever called her ‘Liz’. Everyone else would call her ‘Elizabeth’, or ‘Eliza’; he had asked if he could be special. Though now she’s brutally regretting ever letting him be anything special.

She turns to face Aaron; she could still feel the tears on her face. The make-up she had worn was now running down her face, her hair a disheveled mess, and he stood there- not even caring about any of that. “I can run off like that. I’m my own person.” Her voice shakes; she wants this all to be some sort of nightmare. She wants it to be a lie; even a joke would be amazing. But she knows all to well that this sort of thing would happen. It always does, girl falls for boy, boy plays along with it but only for so long, and then he gets bored and wants out of the game. She was just wishing that he’d be different. That he’d be the one to stay. Only too late did she find out that she was terribly, horribly wrong. She can’t even lift her head up to meet his gaze; it’d be all too painful for her.

“Liz, c’mon, I’m sorry. It wont work out between us but, maybe you can find someone new.” His words ring through her head. Her emotions are almost as confused as her heart by now. She feels angry at Aaron, at herself, at the whole world really. She wants to be alone in her room, the blade touching her skin- ripping her insides open. She wants to bleed out his words, his love, this past that she can never forget. Her hands fold into fists, everything begins to spin. She feels a headache coming on but she’ll take the pain as a relief.

“You’re”- her throat is so dry that she must wet her lips to go on, “you’re sorry?” her head snaps up, the evergreen eyes that she has, full of anger. “What are you sorry for Aaron? For breaking my heart? For playing with me? For not actually caring about me? Oh, don’t worry about all of those. No. it’s my entire fault isn’t it? I wasn’t good enough. Or I wasn’t pretty enough. Or maybe my boobs weren’t big enough. I don’t know. I don’t think I want to know anymore” She was screaming now, people were beginning to stare at them, but she didn’t care. Aaron was looking around nervously though. She began to scream even louder, “Because you’re just c***-sucking, insensitive, horrible, jerk. That’s all you’ll ever be!” she turns and runs for the river, leaving him standing there alone and in awe.

Elizabeth’s dark hair flew into her face multiple times before she finally stopped. Her head felt as if a hammer was beating her upside the head. She sat on a nearby rock, stumbling as she went. When she finally sat down she took out her cell phone. She didn’t want to text anyone; she only wanted to make sure the device was turned on. It was and there were 5 messages from her best friend Sherri, all of them asking where she was. She and Sherri had been walking home together since 5th grade. Elizabeth closed her phone without answering the text messages. She looked up to the sky, the sun was beginning to descend but it was no where near dark. She wanted to go home but not for her parents help, not for the comfort of home. No, it was so she could relieve herself, her way. She began to twist the bracelets on her wrists sub-consciously.

Who knows how much time actually passed while Elizabeth sat on the rock, looking up to the sky. But it didn’t seem very long not to her anyway, but when a boy around 17 approached her, she began to wonder. “Um, hi. I’m Mason.” His voice was full of life, though he looked about as horrible as she did. His brown hair messed up from who knows what, his face red, and everything about him seemed…wrong. Somehow Elizabeth knew this was not his normal look.

All she could bring herself to do was nod. She hadn’t used her voice since she yelled at Aaron. Aaron. She hadn’t even thought of him while she was on the rock. Tears sprang to her eyes but she held them at bay. Mason looked a little concerned when she didn’t answer. She cleared her throat to the best of her ability and said, “I’m Elizabeth. Call me Eliza if you’d like though.” She met his gaze briefly before looking down to her old converse.

Mason didn’t know what to do, here was this girl about as well off as he was and she barely spoke. He normally never did this kind of thing but something drew him to her. He felt compelled to do something for her. He sat beside the rock she was on and held his head in his hands. Everything confused him these days; it was as if his mind didn’t know what it wanted.

She watched him sit beside her, she felt a bit uncomfortable but what could she do. She wasn’t good with people. She never had been. She looked down at him and he looked up at her. “That’s not how you normally wear your make-up is it?” he asked with a slight smile, and Elizabeth couldn’t find anything funnier.

Mason and Elizabeth became amazing friends, though neither of them went to the same school Elizabeth was always going over to Mason’s house. She loved it there, though she didn’t know how she felt about him. Mason didn’t know how to feel about her either. He heard a few rumors about him having a girlfriend but in truth he didn’t. His mother loved to tease him about Elizabeth all the time, telling him how sweet and pretty she was and about how cute they would be together. But he just ignored her. He didn’t want to ruin the friendship they had.

A few months passed, both seemed happier then ever. When Elizabeth had gotten sick with strep throat Mason was at her bedside with all her favorite movies. When Mason broke his arm falling out of the tree in his backyard Elizabeth was the first to sign his blue cast. They eventually became inseparable until Elizabeth’s parents decided to get a divorce. She was bouncing between two houses, sometimes she even had to stay with her grandparents. She was miserable though. But one day, after she had a few days to relax at her mom’s house Mason came over. He seen her miserable expression and felt just as terrible as she did. “El,” he had come up with his own nickname for her, Elizabeth found the name comforting, “everything will work out. Don’t worry.” She nodded in response and they watched movies, ending the night with a popcorn fight.

Mason found that Elizabeth was spending more and more time at her father’s house. And each time she came home she came home with a few more bruises. He had no idea what to do though. He wanted to protect her but he didn’t have that kind of power. He felt even more miserable then before. And soon, he realized that he loved Elizabeth. It wasn’t a right away feeling though, he pondered about the subject until it became inevitable.

As her trips got longer and they seen each other less the more depressed they both felt. Elizabeth had even taken up her old habit once more. Her arms and legs full of various scars and bruises, both from her father and from herself. Her mother became agitated at the sight of her, brining up Anna Marie around her. Mason wasn’t allowed over as much either. Nothing seemed to be going right and nothing seemed to be getting any better anytime soon. One night, Mason had stayed over and fallen asleep on the couch. He had spent the night before so it wasn’t new. But Elizabeth couldn’t find any comfort, not even with her best friend. So she went into the kitchen and grabbed a knife from inside the drawer. It was a huge knife, sharp and long. She had written her note a few days ago, it only contained three words. That’s all it needed. Mason would understand. She went back into her room, careful not to wake Mason or her mother. She set the note onto her desk and Elizabeth lifted the knife to her throat.

“Goodbye.” She whispered silently before ripping her throat open. The blood splattered everywhere, Elizabeth fell to the ground.

Mason woke up groggy and tired. Not fully realizing he was in Elizabeth’s house, he went down the hall and into the bathroom. As he walked out he became more aware of his surroundings, it was still early morning but only just. He guessed around 9:30. Elizabeth’s mom must’ve gone to work, leaving them alone. He was going to talk to her about his feelings today. He was supposed to do it yesterday but he wimped out and fell asleep. He walked up to Elizabeth’s door, he had only ever been in it once or twice, knocking slightly he realized it was open. Just a bit anyway. Looking through the crack he noticed red on the floor, he stomach twisted. He didn’t think it was possible. He pushed the door all the way open, just to see his best friend lay on the floor dead.

He ran back to the bathroom and threw up everything that was in his stomach. The tears came silently and he called 911. Not sure what he would say to them but he explained that Elizabeth was dead and they transferred his call to someone else. He felt like he was still asleep as the police showed up. Elizabeth’s mother was sobbing profusely as was Mason. There was nothing else they could do. Mason noticed the whole neighborhood had come out to see what was going on; the police had set up road blocks to keep them out. Elizabeth’s father still hadn’t arrived yet, Mason doubted he would. One of the police men came up to Elizabeth’s mother and him, explaining it was a suicide. Handing Mason the note he walked away.
-Where’s My Angel?
~El-

Mason began to sob once more. He should have known she wasn’t ok. He began to blame himself for everything. He should have been awake, helping her. Elizabeth’s mother read the note but she didn’t fully understand it. She cried anyways. Mason comforted her both of them sobbing. The funeral was small and nice. But at the same time it was terrible and sad. Nothing could have depressed Mason more. While everyone was leaving the funeral ceremony Mason asked for a moment alone with Elizabeth. Of course it was granted and the doors closed quietly. The casket was open and Mason marveled at how beautiful Elizabeth was. He pulled out a note of his own with the same exact words as hers; he placed it on the closed end of the casket. He then pulled out his own small knife, “I’m coming Elizabeth.” And with that he slit his own throat.





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