“Don’t be mad, but…”

That’s how it always starts with Jessica. She says ‘don’t be mad, but…’ and I have to pretend like I’m okay with whatever she says next.

The first time I heard it was fifth grade. We’d been friends for a little while and I told her that I though Alex Read was cute and that we were going to be married one day. I was in fifth grade it was puppy love. Not a week after I confided in her:

“Alaska, don’t be mad, but… Alex just told me he liked me. I like him too.” Jess said. I may have been upset but I thought it was a coincidence. I got over it. We grew up and I heard it a few more times after that.

“Allie, don’t be mad, but… I like Ryun Vale, and he just asked me out. I couldn’t say no. He was so sweet.” – Summer of seventh grade, I’d liked Ryun for two years. I forgave her and they broke up a while later. Things were great, we shared make up, clothes and secrets.

“Alaska don’t be mad, but… Blake Delihun just asked me out. I said no of course, but I thought I should tell you” – Ninth grade I’d put a note into his locker saying I liked him. She told him it was from her. That one took a while to get over. I did though, another guy caught my eye and Jessica was the first one to know.

“Le-Le, don’t be mad, but… Austin Block and I are talking. I like him and he’s so funny and a great guy, I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” –Tenth grade I had been taking to Austin for a while but she got him. It didn’t go anywhere just a random hook up at a party and some indiscriminate kissing.

I told her I liked him before we went to a football game for my school. She promised to help my outfit and me with flirting. This time I knew it was coming. I knew her patterns, it took longer than I expected actually. One month later we were sitting in her room flipping through her magazines.

“… I’ve been talking to Austin Pence and you know… stuff.” Jessica finished.

“Stuff?” I responded feigning ignorance. I knew what she was talking about.

“Well one night we were asking each other questions and we started getting personal and really flirty… and we were kind of sexting.” She giggled half embarrassed half pleased with her superb ability to classily get the guy.

She didn’t even care. She was bragging? Typical Jess, she does something she knows will upset me then tells me while smiling sheepishly hoping I’ll think she was embarrassed. I know her too well It may have worked in fifth grade but now I know her game and I was pissed.

“But I know you liked him so I said no when he asked me out” She said proudly.

“And you didn’t think that sexting him would bug me?” I demanded tensely.

“It wasn’t my fault, he was really sweet and he really wanted to and he kept begging…” She said looking down which told me she was exaggerating. Besides, Austin’s not the type to beg for a little action, he has plenty of girls who would give him a kidney if he said he’d date them for it.

“Huh, well do you really like him?” I force out in a nonchalant voice tucking my hair behind my ears and checking my phone. I’ve gotten good at this, she says something I don’t approve up or that distresses me and I shut down and pretend I couldn’t care less.

“Yes, he’s so hot!” Jessica replies beaming, “But I know you like him so I felt really bad after.”

If she cared about me she wouldn’t have gotten him off via text.

“Then go for it. He’s totally cute and a great guy. I don’t have a shot in hell with him anyway; besides lacrosse season’s coming up and the boys team is delicious.” I gush, its not like I was totally pissed at her or anything, she just purposely went after a guy I specifically deemed off limits. Why would I be mad?

“Really? You think so?” Jess asked, just eating it up! Probably already coming up with a first date outfit.

“Definitely!” I know I’m over selling it but if Austin wants someone like Jessica then I’m not interested. Zero interest. Really. “He’s totally your type!”

“He is cute…” She hesitated. “Thanks so much Alaska! I’m going to go tell him yes now. Maybe we could go on a double or something.

Her act is as transparent as her tank top. But she’s my best friend. I’m supposed to be happy for her, so I am. I burry my pain and walk over to where she’s talking to him on the phone.

“… mmmm I love coffee! I can’t wait … ’kay bye Austin” she hangs up.

“Allie, I hate coffee...”