My Shifting

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A dark confusion, and the smell of blood. The sound of death, and the taste of sadness. I see light, not sunrays, but the glow of lost souls and wondering life orbs. The place is evil and torture. I am stuck with a burning memory forever of the horrid sight. I am from a shadowed place, but this is just worst. I grew up seeing death and murder, but there was still love. Dare I not speak out loud of the bond called love here? To the sparkling streams of light in the fog and smoke, it was a myth. I flinch and cringe at the screaming bodies from centuries of torture. I try to run the pain is starting to be inflicted on me by the revenge-crazed minds of those who are no more. I then see a tall dark silhouette figure. I wonder if it’s human. It walks towards me as I try to turn, implanted in place like a willow tree. I feel a brush on my cheek, then I see the face. A familiar like, now a bursting love. My tears fall on to the dusty dirty floor. Water mirrors around my feet and I melt away into the puddle.

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thepreechyteenager said...
Aug. 27, 2010 at 7:15 am

A rather unexpected ending, I'm not really sure what happened.  Did love resucue her from this horrible land, it was it just an illusion that ended up killing her?

Anyway, I liked the rest of your story.  I liked how you described the world around the character, and how she missed her old worlds greatedt asset, love.

I think this was a very good story, and I didn't see any grammar mistakes.  I would just touch up the ending a little and make it a little more, clea... (more »)

the author replied...
Aug. 28, 2010 at 10:27 pm
Thank you a bunch I worked really hard on this story and i see what your talking about on the ending and I'll be sure to check out your story.
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