Who Was She?

August 4, 2010
By Night_Walker GOLD, Salt Lake, Utah
Night_Walker GOLD, Salt Lake, Utah
10 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.

Sirens filled the silence as I walked down the street. Quickly I jumped into a near by bush to hide from the speeding cars going down the street. When they past I slowly stood up and looked around. Down the street I noticed someone doing the same thing. He looked shorter then me but looked very feminine. Hopefully that was just the shadows playing across his skin.

He looked my way and seemed to dead stop at the same time I did. He took little steps toward me being very cautious. When he went under a street light I got the shock of a lifetime. He was a she. She had short brown hair, wearing a baseball cap and a dark blue hoodie over denim jeans. Something about her made me move closer. As I did I could see that she had shockingly green eyes with blue specks.

When she got a look at me she smiled. I don’t know why though. My black hair is a mess and my gray shirt was torn as was my black basketball shorts, but on a good day I could get any girl I wanted. I was the kid that everyone envied and tried to get in good with, but I mostly stuck to myself. She looked at me with this knowing look.

It was like she knew why I was out past curfew. Why my eyes were ringed red from before. Why I wanted to jump in front of a bus. She silently took my hand and led me away from the street light. I was scared but tried not to show it. Who was she? Why was she here, and what did she want with me?

To Be Continued….

The author's comments:
Everyone needs a little fantasy in their life... Why not provide it?

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This article has 7 comments.

on Aug. 14 2010 at 9:19 pm
LinnaNicole SILVER, Orlando, Florida
6 articles 9 photos 28 comments
Nice start. I love how the reader was left hanging. It has a few grammatical errors and it could use some details. Other than that I enjoyed it. Keep writing, I’ll be sure to read! :D

Zzzie SILVER said...
on Aug. 13 2010 at 6:43 pm
Zzzie SILVER, North Canton, Ohio
8 articles 0 photos 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Think positive, or I'll have to start singing."

I like it a lot. You title is what got me to read. If you write and post more, I'll be sure to read it.

on Aug. 13 2010 at 3:57 pm
satellite23 GOLD, Cincinnati, Ohio
14 articles 0 photos 100 comments

Favorite Quote:
Prove it.

Yes... needs more detail and depth, but finish the story. I'll read it. Good start.

on Aug. 12 2010 at 5:27 pm
star-gazing-dreamer GOLD, Pittsgrove, New Jersey
11 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everywhere I have sought rest and not found it,
except sitting in a corner by myself with a little book.
~ Thomas Kempis ~

I like it. i really want to read the rest of it.  :)

on Aug. 12 2010 at 2:51 pm
CrazyWriter GOLD, Lorton Station, Virginia
16 articles 2 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Once you have given up on the most important thing in your life, you begin to die, because then, you gradually lose your true self"~Hana Kimi
"Someone who can lie to themself. . . is lonely, and in pain"~Hana Kimi

i agreewith zezasister and pageturner. I would like more detail but you aboslutely postively have to write more ineed to find out who she is.


on Aug. 11 2010 at 7:24 pm
pageturner PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York
34 articles 0 photos 94 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's okay to daydream.. just as long as you get to do some of those daydreams.

can you please continue this story soon? it's very good. i like your writing. can you check out my articles?

zezasister said...
on Aug. 11 2010 at 11:06 am
i think its alright, but i think you need to add more detail. i luv that you added mystery

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