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Heart of the Ocean(part one)
I listened to the rain pounding angrily on the tin roof of our house. I would call
the house a home, but that would be a lie. It's a house, and nothing more. The rain
pounding on the roof echoed, as if informing the whole world that the house was void of
feeling now. The thunder bounced off the walls, letting everyone who would listen know that
the people who lived inside those walls were empty now, and filled with an unbearable
grief. Every house on the street was lit up, the curious occupants watching the storm from
big bay windows.
I stared out at the churning ocean from my own bay window, longing to hear the
screaming wind as it tugged at my lush dark curls. I craved the sting of the rain on my
face. I conjured the smell of the wind as the storm and the ocean breeze mixed from
memories seeming long lost. It seemed to me like years since I had felt this alive. I
sprang from my windowsill and slid on some jeans and a hoodie over my skimpy pajamas. I
didn't bother with shoes, I hated them. I silently skipped across the hall, barely able to
contain my sudden burst of excitement. It just felt so good to feel like this again, I felt
as if I could cry and scream in excitement at the same time. I knocked lightly on my
brother Sebastian's door. He didn't answer, so figuring he was asleep, I opened the door
the tinest bit, sending a small ray of light across the room. He flung a pillow at the
door, swearing at me and the sudden unwelcome light. I persisted, opening the door all the
way and flinging myself onto his bed.
"Lexi, what the hell is the matter with you?" Sebastian mumbled from the depths of his
blankets. It sounded more like "Lexi whut thhell is thamatter wi you?" But I understood. I
giggled, which annoyed him further.
"Sebastian, i want to go for a walk." i said softly. I was prepared to get lectured on
how I should show some common decency and try not to do anything to worry our parents at a
time like this. But the thought never seemed to cross his mind.
"Lemme get dressed." was all he said, a mischevious smile playing across his lips.
I turned and faced the door while he threw on some clothes. It seemed like he took
ages, I was practically dancing in excitement. He tapped me on the shoulder and I turned
around, looking up. It was hard to believe he was my twin at times. He had a good 5 or 6
inches on me. Where I have a smooth complextion and blue eyes flecked with grey, he had a
light spray of freckles and unrealistically sky blue eyes. Where I have a medium tan and
thin limbs, he had a deep tan and thick, muscled limbs. We were so different, but so much
I grabbed his hand and pulled him after me as I darted out his door and down the
steps. I pointed to the door at the bottom of the stairs. Sebastian simply scowled and
shook his head no. I narrowed my eyes at him but continued to the front door, trying to
hurry and be quiet at the same time. I was silent and graceful, but he was somewhat clumsy
and noisy. I slowed down to prevent him from waking anyone.
When I reached the door I typed in the code to disarm the security alarm and opened
the sliding glass doors. I sprinted across the patio and into the sand, making a bee line
for the ocean.
"Lexi..." Sebastian warned as he caught up at a mere jog. I didn't let the words of
caution linger in my mind as I ran into the water until it was at my waist, then submerged
myself, swimming for the sand bar. I felt the ocean pulling at my body, urging it in
I knew it was dangerous to swim in the ocean during a storm, especially at night. But
it just made me feel so.. free. I turned to look for Sebastian, figuring he was just behind
me. But I didn't see him. I felt panic bubble in my stomach.
"Sebastian?!" I called over the water, the rain distorting my voice.
"What?" Sebastian answered from behind me.
I whirled around.
"What is wrong with you?! You scared me!" I shrieked as I punched his shoulder.
He laughed at me. I knew I hit like a girl, but I had hoped maybe to injure him just a
little. Guess not.
Sebastian stared at the sky, letting the water drops rinse the salty water from his
face and eyes. There wasn't much of a sky to look at tonight, the dark roiling clouds
barely visible against the barely darker sky. Just a hint of the moon gave us the light we
needed to see.
"Don't complain about me scaring you, Lexi. You've scared me far worse in these past
months." Sebastian said slowly in his deep, gravelly voice as he stared intently upwards,
as if looking for something valuable.
I finally found a small spot where I could touch the sandy bottom with my toes.
Sebastian was standing firmly, the water splashing just at his shoulders, while it splashed
up into my face and eyes.
I looked away from him and mumbled that i was sorry. I was glad for the saltwater,
it's constant surging prevented Sebastian from seeing the tears slowly building in my eyes.
But not even the ocean could hide the crack in my voice.
I heard him sigh as he pulled me close to him.
"Lexi... sometimes you're all I have. Please, don't try to take that away from me
"I promise." I murmered, my face heating up and my cheeks flushing.
Suddenly the current slammed me against Sebastian. Water splashed in my face and eyes,
obstructing my vision and threatening to choke me.
Sebastian steadied me and took my hand in his, urging me towards the shore. We were
being pulled sideways and pushed under by angry surges of the water. He didn't let go of my
hand, not once, even when it meant almost crushing my fingers to hold on. I knew he
wouldn't let me go, he never had. I squeezed his hand tight in mine and after what seemed
like forever we made it to shore, both choking and gagging on saltwater. We collapsed in
the rocky sand to catch our breath.
"And now you know why I curse at you when you suggest your little walks." panted
I shrugged and choked out a laughed, standing up with much effort and pulling him up,
"We haven't done this in a while Lexi. What brought it on?"
"I wanted to feel something besides useless for a little while, I needed to ease my
mind. I know you need the same. You never give yourself a break when dad's away, now that
he's home you should relax a little."
"I can't Lex. I don't know why, but I'm just so restless all the time. I worry about
you. I worry about everything..." he trailed off at the end. neither of us needed to be
reminded of what 'everything' stood for.
I let out a choked laugh.
"Why would you worry about me?" my voice was tight, even as I tried to control it.
"Because I love you Lex, you know that. I know this is hard. It's hard for all of us.
I mean Jesus, no one expected this so soon. This is the only time you've ever tried to keep
how you feel from me. The only time you've ever been able to. The fact that you've gotten
so good at it scares me." I hadn't heard him so close to tears in a while.
I mumbled "I love you too Sebastian." I put my arm around his waist and he put his arm
around my shoulders and we walked back to the house.
I looked up at the house, noticing I had left my bedroom light on. The downstairs
light was on too, the one in Alec's room. As we neared the house I saw Alec pull the
curtain aside and flash a smile at me, careful to stay hidden from Sebatian's view. I
grinned and nodded once.
Once inside the house I told Sebastian goodnight and bolted silently up the stairs and
into my room. I closed the door quietly behind me and pressed my back against it, trying to
fight off the butterflies and the huge smile that was threatening to take over my face. I
let out a sigh and all but skipped to my bathroom, slowly peeling off the layers of
cold,wet, salty clothes. I turned the shower on, waiting until the water was steaming and
almost hot enough to scald my skin before I got in.
I showered as long as I could stand without my heart exploding from anticipation and
anxiety, but long enough to ensure Sebastian was back asleep.
I dried and dressed quickly, dragging a brush through my hair a few times and brushing
my teeth vigorously. I slipped on shorts and a tank top, tossing on a hoodie as I closed my
bedroom door and made my way back down the stairs. As my heart threatened to beat it's way
out of my chest, I knocked lightly on Alec's door.