Beep beep.
“ugh, shut it off!” Alison groggily whispered
beep beep
“john” she stated, while roughly shoving him. “john, your alarm is going off again”
beep beep
“fine!” throwing the covers off her head, Alison jumps up to hit the snooze button. Turning over, she looks to the left side of her bed and realizes john isn't there.
“oh great!” she exclaims “ I can't believe I thought he was still here laying beside me.”
Staring at the empty spot, Alison curls into a tight ball. Eyes watering, she begins to remember a time when she would turn over and john would be there, waiting to embrace her in his strong arms that always seemed be enclosed with warmth. He would stare into her eyes then ever so gently place his index finger upon her brow. The back and forth motions always seemed to calm her down and was a welcomed action she embraced but never let him know. Smiling, he would say “ what you looking at old woman”
those six words, rehearsed yet memorable, could always bring a smile upon her face. “ nothing, old man” she would laughingly say. Taking her hand from under her head, Alison begins to gently caress john's chest. Up, down, up, down the motions would take her. Leading her hand upward, Alison begins to trace the contours of his face. Her hands would roam the smooth, thick eyebrows, and skip over his dark lashes that were so much like a girl's. Moving her hand lower, her hand begins to trace the faint outline of his lips. So small in appearance and through touch yet so amazing when kissed. Finished with her perusal, Alison gently sighs and looks up only to see john staring intensely at her. His eyes always seemed so much darker and deeper in the morning. Gazing back, she tries to draw her eyes away but finds she is too captivated. His stare has her stuck and with each moment that passes with her looking back, she falls deeper and deeper into the pits. “why are you staring at me” she whispers. John doesn't reply. Intensely she states, “john! stop staring at me.” laughing, he just runs his hand across her face. Lifting her hand to fend him off, she looks back over and notices he has begun to close his eyes again. With a smile slowly creeping upon her face, Alison just shakes her head. “John, who would've thought in three short months we would become this close?” She thinks. “Your my old man and I'm your old woman “she jokingly says. Laughing silently, Alison rolls her back towards john and begins to fit her body into the contours of his curves. Laying her head against his chest, she pulls his arm over her and burrows deep into it. With the manly smell of warmth and spray, and a smile still fixed firmly upon her face, she falls asleep.
Beep!Beep!
Beep!Beep!
Alison hurriedly jumps up. Forgetting she hit the snooze button, she reaches over to turn the alarm off. Looking down beside her, Alison notices she is holding tight onto her pillow. Staring at the white fluffy-ness of it, she notices how the shape has been bent to gently fit into the curves of her body. Feeling something wet roll down her face, Alison reaches up and realizes she is crying. Again, she had another dream about what used to be with her and john. Tears pouring, Alison cradles into the corner of her bed and cries tears of hate, pain, and longing. She cries because she knows morning moments with john will never happen again. She cries because she longs for those 3 months of happiness and closeness to continue. She cries because she is angry for choosing to believe all the lies. She is crying because though she knows sometime in life she will see the rightness of her decision, in this moment and time, in her bed, faced with all the memories of past, she can't seem to help it.