It’s a haunting feeling. It’s swallows you whole and lingers in your stomach. It doesn't creep up on you, it leaps. You ache. Oh, how you ache. The world grows dark right before your eyes. You don’t understand anything. How could this be. You wonder to yourself of how you could do something as horrible as what you did to cause this to happen to you. The voice in your head keeps repeating itself the same question over and over. How could you? It says. How could you? You don’t feel as what you once did. As the feeling sets in, it starts to bury itself within you. It’s within your soul, deep in the depths of your soul. You never knew such a thing; such an emotion could be so powerful. This emotion has become more powerful than anything you have ever felt, more powerful then love even. It aches more than a broken heart. All you do is think and think, over and over about what you did to cause such a pain within you. It eats away at you until you can no longer take the pain. It feeds off your wrong doings. It feeds off your lies, your insecurities, your mistakes, and your undenying love for that adrenaline rush. The room begins to spin, and it starts to spin out of control. You fall. Your mind begins to race beyond your control. All you can do is scream, and before you know it, before you even realize what you are screaming, you are screaming your confessions. They pierce the ears of everyone around you. Everyone can hear you, everyone. As looks of evil look upon you, you smile to yourself. You look to your hands, for they are tingling with guilt free pleasure. Your mind begins to slow down, the room stops spinning, and you stand firmly on your own two feet. The ache that buried itself deep within you has left. The guilt that took over your soul, has left you. You are finally free.
Guilt; The Way it Feeds
July 19, 2010