Of All the Gin Joints...

July 13, 2010
By wild-free BRONZE, Billerica, Massachusetts
wild-free BRONZE, Billerica, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All good things are wild and free." - Henry David Thoreau

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." - Albus Dumbledore


I am a simple girl.


I have always been able to find happiness in small places. It’s easy for me to walk outside, breathe in the fresh air and think of nothing else but how wonderful it smells. Whenever I get the chance, and the weather is just right, I will lie out in the grass and fall asleep to the sun warming my skin. I look forward to swaying back and forth in a hammock on a lazy Sunday afternoon. I’m addicted to the smell of lilacs at first bloom, entranced by the sound of rain pattering against a glass window, and truly in awe of the songs birds sing in the springtime. I am open-minded and I have patience. I love books and the adventures they take me on. I am always so pleased with the world around me. You, on the other hand, are quite different.


You are complicated.


You hate the weather. You won’t spend time outside if the temperature isn’t a reasonable 75 degrees and sunny. You aren’t a follower. If a book, film or album is popular, you refuse to give it a chance. You have no patience, even for important things such as doctor’s appointments. You insist on being original. When the rest of the world calls me Amy, you have to call me Amelia. You are extravagant. You take me to posh restaurants with menus written in French, even though you know I would be perfectly satisfied with a juicy burger at the local Five Guys. If things aren’t just-so, you become visibly annoyed. You are cranky, stubborn and over-the-top.


But, I loved you.


We first met one night at a bar down the street from the college we both attend. I often gravitate towards dimly lit, over-crowded pubs, especially when I want to read. Many people see this as a very strange habit, but barrooms are full of life with all sorts of characters, which, I find, is the perfect setting to start a novel filled with the same. I saw you eyeing me from across the room and I honestly thought nothing of it. After all, I wasn’t there to meet anyone other than those starring in my book. As you walked towards me I smiled politely, but I was hoping the conversation wouldn’t last long—I was never one for small talk. I figured you would ask the usual questions—what’s your name? Do you go to Boston College? Do you have plans for this evening?—but no, instead you started blabbering on about the book I was reading. I was filled with a strange mixture of both shock and awe that such an attractive boy would have any interest in The Great Gatsby, especially in the midst of all those scantily clad women in that old crappy bar, but you were genuinely enthralled in my reading choice. We began talking and I swear we could have talked all night, but the bar had to close sometime. I remember all I could think of was how much I wanted to see you again. You were so interesting back then.


What happened?


Our year long relationship started off great. We spent the first few months going to great restaurants, art museums and concerts. Every time we went out you had something new planned. We had so many of the same interests and you always tried so hard to make me happy. I remember the night you first told me you loved me; you took me to a jazz concert where we had to dress in formal attire. You bought me a dress and told me I looked stunning. You danced with me in front of everyone, even though you hate dancing. You told me how special I was and how there was no one in the world who shined as bright as I did, then you said those three words and I melted. We had something really special back then, but as time moved on things began to change. You stopped doing things with my interests in mind. When we went out, it would be to places where you wanted to go. When I had an idea, you just shut it down without any further discussion. I gave up pushing for my ideas until pretty soon we stopped going out in general. Instead you would just sit in your room and read. You became unhappy, impatient, and anti-social. I tried to fight these changes in you; I tried to force myself to believe they weren’t true. After all, I really loved you. However, soon I realized what was actually happening; you weren’t changing at all—this behavior really was you.


You just stopped trying to impress me.


I asked you to meet me today at the same bar where we first met. I watch you walk through the doors and spot me within seconds. You look tired, grumpy—I can reasonably predict this conversation isn’t going to be as exciting as our first. I begin to speak, and as the words flow through my lips I watch your expression—nothing changes. I tell you how things haven’t been working out and I feel as though I need more independence—you just stare blankly. This angers me, now I just want to hurt you. When I tell you how your miserable soul has been breaking my spirit for the six months, I can tell you are thinking something totally different, something along the lines of ‘I’m too good for this conversation and you.’ That’s fine, maybe you’re right. I just smile sweetly until you finally get frustrated enough to get up and leave. As you walk out of eyesight I feel a huge weight lift off of my shoulders. For the first time in months, I am genuinely happy. A smile paints my face as I pull a book out from my bag, just as I did on that first night, but this time it’s a new book—a new start, a new journey.


I’ve moved on.


The author's comments:
The titles comes from a quote from the movie 'Casablanca.' "Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she just had to walk into mine."

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This article has 18 comments.


on Aug. 6 2010 at 4:04 pm
SecretNonConformist SILVER, Marblehead, Massachusetts
6 articles 0 photos 195 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only thing necessary for the triumph of
evil is for good men to do nothing."
-Edmund Burke

"Bless the children, give them triumph, now!"
Aeschylus, The Libation Bearers

You really are an amazing writer. The one tiny little thing you could do is flesh out the boy a little more so the reader could feel the breakup harder. Still, this was so good!

on Aug. 5 2010 at 1:51 pm
wild-free BRONZE, Billerica, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All good things are wild and free." - Henry David Thoreau

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." - Albus Dumbledore

I love classic movies! And classic books.. for example Gatsby and Casablanca haha. 

AidanR. said...
on Aug. 4 2010 at 2:53 pm
AidanR., Buffalo, New York
0 articles 0 photos 52 comments

I liked this a lot too.  It was depressing, but not in a sad way, if that makes any sense.  Just sort of like, "oh, ah well".

Then of course the ending wasn't depressing.

I take it you like classic movies?


on Aug. 4 2010 at 12:01 pm
KourtneyBriann BRONZE, Niles, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 90 comments
I really enjoyed this. I love how you told about how different the two are. It's really good! Give me some feedback plzzzz! (:

on Aug. 3 2010 at 10:15 pm
wild-free BRONZE, Billerica, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All good things are wild and free." - Henry David Thoreau

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." - Albus Dumbledore

No it didn't.. strictly fiction! :)

Thank you for the feedback!


on Aug. 3 2010 at 7:42 pm
Still_Waters26 SILVER, Ladysmith, Wisconsin
6 articles 0 photos 88 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We few, we happy few/we band of brothers/For he to-day that sheds his blood with me/Shall be my brother"
-Shakespeare, "Henry V"

Sad story, but realistic.  Most romance stories on Teenink are about how "he was so perfect and yet he fell in love with me, of all the girls in the world", but this one's more bittersweet.  Did this really happen in real life? Just wonderin.

on Aug. 3 2010 at 1:21 pm
NeverCaredForKool-Aid GOLD, Elkridge, Maryland
13 articles 0 photos 531 comments

Favorite Quote:
I don't believe in hell but I believe in my parent's couch-- Watsky

Aw, a little sad.  I mean, I liked your writing, but sad story.  I guess what had to happen happened though. A very nice story, and the ending was splendid.  I also love the short little statements/questions you made throughout.

iDogrocker said...
on Aug. 2 2010 at 12:28 am
iDogrocker, Lebanon, Oregon
0 articles 0 photos 78 comments
This isn't my favorite piece of yours, but I still enjoyed reading it. I love the first sentence and the recurring theme of words along those lines. I liked that the headings told the story and the blocks played a mental movie with the details. Another job very well done.

on Jul. 31 2010 at 6:48 pm
LoveTravelTell GOLD, Leftoverthere, Florida
15 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in my, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24.

Completely adored this!! The sad thing is, someone I know reminds me of the man. It's not a good quality- fake. Awesome work, and as stated below by many others, I really love how you do a one-liner and then explain it. It's really beautiful, and I feel like I am there.

on Jul. 28 2010 at 11:40 am
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Again, I have to say this is absolutely awesome, like everyone else, I love the one-liners, and you're very descriptive and vivid.  Everything is realistic and clear.  My favorite is the last line.

J.A.M. SILVER said...
on Jul. 26 2010 at 11:32 pm
J.A.M. SILVER, Lacey, Washington
6 articles 0 photos 12 comments

I agree, the one liners are great. They're simple and easy to read, and really give it impact rather then just explaining that you are simple, stating it first gives it emphasis and i think it is the opposite of chliche because alot of writers worry one-liners ARE cliche, maybe explaining things in detail has become cliche. (sorry for going on so long).

I like that it was straightforward and to the point, but I'm glad you also explained things to really give your readers the imagery required for one to keep reading.

Great Job. :)


on Jul. 26 2010 at 12:13 pm
HotTeenWriter24x7 BRONZE, Poughkeepsie, New York
2 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Forbidden to Remember, Terrified to Forget."

This is a really cool piece i especially like the one-liners...u can actually read between the lnes with them...as if they are a paragraph...carefully divided by each sentence then explained...awesome work..keep writitng..i like this technique ;]

on Jul. 26 2010 at 10:09 am
sleeplessdreamer PLATINUM, Raleigh, North Carolina
30 articles 0 photos 332 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I have always wanted to write in such a way that people say, 'I have always thought that but never found the words for it.'" -anonymous

So, for the record, this is my kind of story. Straight-forward and easy to read. A simple story with good writing, that pulls you in despite the fact that there's nothing miraculous about the plot.

Ok, I didn't like the first couple paragraphs, though. I could have done without that. And this is not because your descriptions were "cliche". (Honestly, people, get off that kick. You call everything in the world cliche... I think it's because you can't think of anyother criticism. It's getting cliche to call things cliche!!!! Sorry, my little rant.)

Anyway, I don't like the fact that you spent all this time telling who the characters were. I think it would have been better if maybe you elaborated more on the conversations, or on the thiings they did together so you could show the reader who they were. Or even spread out the descriptions throughout the story. Just my opinon though, some people may like it. I just thought it was a little too straightforward.

But really, I do like it. And I'm sorry I spent half my comment on a rant about people calling things cliche. I was really just trying to stand up for your line "i'm a simple girl." And for myself... I can be kinda cliche...

Anyway, if you would check out some of my other work, that woudl be awesome. But thanks for checking out my thread. I hope my comment was helpful.


We-R-3 BRONZE said...
on Jul. 25 2010 at 10:33 pm
We-R-3 BRONZE, Orlando, Florida
1 article 0 photos 344 comments

Favorite Quote:
A picture is worth a thousand words, however it takes a real artist to turn words into pictures.

Have you heard about the new Lebron Iphone, you have to set it on vibrate because it doesn't have any rings

I like the one liners, I can picture them on a book cover surrounding a girls face. it kept me reading. I do not get the title though. hope to read more.

on Jul. 25 2010 at 7:21 pm
cantfindascreename BRONZE, Chino Hills, California
1 article 0 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in service to others"

I really liked the one lniers between each part of the relationship, it went really well with the I am a simple girl in the very beginning.  It was straightforward, and so i could picture the character very well.  I really thought the whole thing was great!

on Jul. 24 2010 at 10:24 am
wild-free BRONZE, Billerica, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All good things are wild and free." - Henry David Thoreau

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." - Albus Dumbledore

I wouldn't be able to eliminate that line from the story because I wrote the story so that the one-liners in between each paragraph almost tell a story by themselves. Not all of my writing is like that, I just tried something different with this piece. Sure I will read your story.

I'm glad you liked it, Whylime! And no problem. :)

Thank you both!


Whylime said...
on Jul. 24 2010 at 8:35 am
Whylime, Brentwood, Tennessee
0 articles 0 photos 157 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grief is the price we pay for love -- Queen Elizabeth ll
Don't go there, I'll only follow -- ???
Why is a raven like a writing desk? -- The Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland
Chewing gum is really gross, chewing gum I hate the most -- Willy W.

i disagree. "im a simple girl" is not cliche. it pulls you in. very good and professional sounding, well done. thanks for commenting on my article (:

on Jul. 24 2010 at 1:13 am
AgnotTheOdd GOLD, Aptos, California
17 articles 0 photos 315 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The reason for your unreasonable treatment of my reason so enfeebles my reason that I have reason to complain of your reason" ~ Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

My primary gripe is the very first line.  "I am a simple girl."

Please don't start writing with phrases like that.  It's cliched.  I think the problem could be easily eliminated by just removing that line altogether.  Voila.

Care to read my "The Waiting Room"?



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