Parentnapped! -Chapter 2. Louise

July 18, 2010
By Mamonde PLATINUM, Seoul, Other
Mamonde PLATINUM, Seoul, Other
20 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Oh, I'm crazy to the bone."


My father “picked up”, as I like to describe it, Louise from a restaurant two months ago, in December. He explained everything very simply, of her being “the nice lady he had met at Hoover’s Diner” and that I was expected to treat her pleasantly as she would to me. I was not expected to treat her pleasantly; I was forced to- mentally. He gave me a rigid stare as a signal.

“So you’re Velma! Just as you said, Roger, she is so cute! I know we’ll get along so well.”

She smiled smugly, and spoke in a tone so evidently fake and sugar-coated. That was the first time she got my name wrong.

I winced, but not as much for her to notice.

“Say hello to Louise, Velva.”

“Hello, Louise.”

Louise Derae. She had the same name as Louise Hart, a person of absolute stubbornness and obnoxiousness that only her four worshippers truly followed her. According to my first impression of her and the first week spent together, Louise Derae and Louise Hart were composed of the same material, although the former tended to sprinkle more sugar upon her actions.

She tended to stuff her plump self into excessively tight dresses and shove her feet into very high heels although she could not walk properly in them. It was somewhat amusing to watch her wobble in those shoes, teetering like a see-saw.

Louise liked to call herself “my father’s best Christmas present ever”. I disagreed, silently to myself. She would ramble on about how she should just go in a box and tie herself up with a ribbon. If I were my father, I thought, I would lock the box up and send it away to Bangladesh. But I said nothing and smiled as sweetly as possible, in order to avoid the stringent frowns of my father under his hawk-eye.

My father did know, that there would be not a single woman in the world that could replace my mother, who apparently left home without warning some day two years ago. He knew, but still pushed every emotion inside him and locked it all up.

Louise did not know my father had a runaway wife- that was still married to him. A divorce was impossible to be filed without the other spouse. My father did not want to be labeled as “the man that made his wife run away.” He would not throw away his pride. So I became the daughter of a “dead” mother.


The author's comments:
Continued from Chapter one, "The Room of Hostility". I am aware that the chapters are rather short.

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This article has 11 comments.


on Aug. 24 2010 at 11:16 am
NeverCaredForKool-Aid GOLD, Elkridge, Maryland
13 articles 0 photos 531 comments

Favorite Quote:
I don't believe in hell but I believe in my parent's couch-- Watsky

I like that you went into detail about Louise's and Velva's father's relationship.  I also like how complex you made the character of Velva's father.  The one thing I'm confused about though, is why is Velva so afraid of her father?

on Jul. 30 2010 at 8:59 am
SecretNonConformist SILVER, Marblehead, Massachusetts
6 articles 0 photos 195 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only thing necessary for the triumph of
evil is for good men to do nothing."
-Edmund Burke

"Bless the children, give them triumph, now!"
Aeschylus, The Libation Bearers

Yet again, very, very, real. I've heard of similar situations in real life. The writing was a lot smoother in this chapter and I'm sure it will only get better as this story goes on. Right now, I'm hooked. I want to know what crazy horrible thing Louise does next.

on Jul. 29 2010 at 10:53 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Hmmm....let's start with the nose job....

on Jul. 29 2010 at 10:29 pm
Mamonde PLATINUM, Seoul, Other
20 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Oh, I'm crazy to the bone."

My first comment:) Thanks so much! And yup, we all hate Louise. We should make an anti-Louise club or something. hahah...

on Jul. 29 2010 at 9:46 pm
Mamonde PLATINUM, Seoul, Other
20 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Oh, I'm crazy to the bone."

Yay! Thank you so much :D

on Jul. 29 2010 at 9:46 pm
Mamonde PLATINUM, Seoul, Other
20 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Oh, I'm crazy to the bone."

Haha.. yup I wanted you guys to hate her.. I hate Louise too. She's like this amazingly annoying and hatable woman.

on Jul. 29 2010 at 9:45 pm
Mamonde PLATINUM, Seoul, Other
20 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Oh, I'm crazy to the bone."

Thanks! :)

on Jul. 28 2010 at 4:20 pm
yellowflower SILVER, Basking Ridge, New Jersey
8 articles 0 photos 47 comments
This chapter was great!! i love the ending and they was you describe louise as fake and sugar coated. very good!!

on Jul. 28 2010 at 1:37 pm
wild-free BRONZE, Billerica, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All good things are wild and free." - Henry David Thoreau

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." - Albus Dumbledore

You are great at characterizations. I love how awful you make Louise seem. It's so easy to picture her voice and her looks. I hated her from the moment she first opened her mouth! (Which is probably what you wanted from the reader.) 

Great job! :)


on Jul. 28 2010 at 1:29 am
cantfindascreename BRONZE, Chino Hills, California
1 article 0 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in service to others"

I agree with gymbabe(: This part was so good! The characters are starting to develop a bit, and you can already see the story starting to happen! Really really good(:

on Jul. 27 2010 at 11:12 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

This chapter was awesome, I love the twist at the end, and I already hate Louise!




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