Parentnapped! -Chapter 2. Louise

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My father “picked up”, as I like to describe it, Louise from a restaurant two months ago, in December. He explained everything very simply, of her being “the nice lady he had met at Hoover’s Diner” and that I was expected to treat her pleasantly as she would to me. I was not expected to treat her pleasantly; I was forced to- mentally. He gave me a rigid stare as a signal.

“So you’re Velma! Just as you said, Roger, she is so cute! I know we’ll get along so well.”

She smiled smugly, and spoke in a tone so evidently fake and sugar-coated. That was the first time she got my name wrong.

I winced, but not as much for her to notice.

“Say hello to Louise, Velva.”

“Hello, Louise.”

Louise Derae. She had the same name as Louise Hart, a person of absolute stubbornness and obnoxiousness that only her four worshippers truly followed her. According to my first impression of her and the first week spent together, Louise Derae and Louise Hart were composed of the same material, although the former tended to sprinkle more sugar upon her actions.

She tended to stuff her plump self into excessively tight dresses and shove her feet into very high heels although she could not walk properly in them. It was somewhat amusing to watch her wobble in those shoes, teetering like a see-saw.

Louise liked to call herself “my father’s best Christmas present ever”. I disagreed, silently to myself. She would ramble on about how she should just go in a box and tie herself up with a ribbon. If I were my father, I thought, I would lock the box up and send it away to Bangladesh. But I said nothing and smiled as sweetly as possible, in order to avoid the stringent frowns of my father under his hawk-eye.

My father did know, that there would be not a single woman in the world that could replace my mother, who apparently left home without warning some day two years ago. He knew, but still pushed every emotion inside him and locked it all up.

Louise did not know my father had a runaway wife- that was still married to him. A divorce was impossible to be filed without the other spouse. My father did not want to be labeled as “the man that made his wife run away.” He would not throw away his pride. So I became the daughter of a “dead” mother.





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thepreechyteenager said...
Aug. 24, 2010 at 11:16 am
I like that you went into detail about Louise's and Velva's father's relationship.  I also like how complex you made the character of Velva's father.  The one thing I'm confused about though, is why is Velva so afraid of her father?
 
yellowflower said...
Jul. 28, 2010 at 4:20 pm
This chapter was great!! i love the ending and they was you describe louise as fake and sugar coated. very good!!
 
Mamonde This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 29, 2010 at 9:45 pm
Thanks! :)
 
wild-free said...
Jul. 28, 2010 at 1:37 pm

You are great at characterizations. I love how awful you make Louise seem. It's so easy to picture her voice and her looks. I hated her from the moment she first opened her mouth! (Which is probably what you wanted from the reader.) 

Great job! :)

 
Mamonde This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 29, 2010 at 9:46 pm
Haha.. yup I wanted you guys to hate her.. I hate Louise too. She's like this amazingly annoying and hatable woman.
 
cantfindascreename said...
Jul. 28, 2010 at 1:29 am
I agree with gymbabe(: This part was so good! The characters are starting to develop a bit, and you can already see the story starting to happen! Really really good(:
 
Mamonde This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 29, 2010 at 9:46 pm
Yay! Thank you so much :D
 
gymbabe This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 27, 2010 at 11:12 pm
This chapter was awesome, I love the twist at the end, and I already hate Louise!
 
Mamonde This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 29, 2010 at 10:29 pm
My first comment:) Thanks so much! And yup, we all hate Louise. We should make an anti-Louise club or something. hahah...
 
mypoorback This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 29, 2010 at 10:53 pm
Hmmm....let's start with the nose job....
 
SecretNonConformist replied...
Jul. 30, 2010 at 8:59 am
Yet again, very, very, real. I've heard of similar situations in real life. The writing was a lot smoother in this chapter and I'm sure it will only get better as this story goes on. Right now, I'm hooked. I want to know what crazy horrible thing Louise does next.
 
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