Acceptance 2

June 26, 2010
Looking outside, I saw the wind swaying my favorite tree. The tree I had always sought shelter in after a rough day. I had made up my mind, staring at that tree. I made a decision that would forever affect my life.




The sounds of tools clacking in my fathers’ garage might have been heard by anyone passing by. I was inside looking for some rope. After much searching, I eventually found it stashed on the top shelf. After acquiring it, I carefully tied it in the form of a noose. I held it up in front of my face. It swung slowly by invisible wind, taunting me in a way. A heavy sigh escaped me and I drug one of mothers’ dining chairs into the night.




It was a pretty night, and I was glad I had made my parents leave. The moon was full and the stars shone brightly. I stared lovingly at the sky, knowing that maybe it would be my last. ‘Back to business,’ I thought and placed the chair beneath a branch. With a mighty heave, my hand crafted noose had wound around a branch and dropped at face level. Without any prior warning, my tears began to flow. My miseries and depression had hit me with full force and the salty tears flew faster. Alone. I was all alone. And a thought, though a depressing one, had occured to me, that, what i was doing, needed to be done. Somehow, somewhere in this morbid thought i found the drive to press on, to continue with this...sick ending, I suppose.

Whiping away my tear streaked cheeks, I heaved a heavy sigh, closed my eyes and squirmed my head through the tiny tear shapped hole. I slowly tightened the rope feeling the coarse hairs burn my neck, slicing thier way into my skin. I stood there thinking, chanting, 'it's for my own good. It'a for my own good.' My face grew impassive as I fixated my gaze upon the grown. Without warning or any prior sign, I stepped and kicked the chair away.



(Alternate to suicide)



A thunderous crack started me and i felt a breif falling sensation then sudden enormous pain and a crushing feeling. I had fallen on the leg of the chair no doubt brusing my back and god knows what else. Luckly the limb wasn't that big and i could wiggle my way out of it. Bitter tears of disappointment clouded my eyes and i sullenly put away my faild attempt and cried my self to sleep in the comforting darkness of my room snuggled with my mothers favorite t-shirts.





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