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Lost and found

They were gone, they were all gone, and I was completely alone.

We parked in a spot that seemed miles from the amusement park. But none the less, we were all excited to be at Kings Island. As I got out of our minivan we all slathered on some spf 50 sunscreen. It was just my sisters Hannah and Erin, Mom, and Scott and I as we walked the long path to the park.

We entered after handing in our tickets and were bombarded with the paradise that is known as Kings Island. I was first affronted by the myriad of scents that wafted by my nose. Fried foods, delectable deserts and mouth watering candies exploded in my nostrils. The large metal roller coasters towered over us as their intimidating shadows were cast by morning's sun. Excited people bustled to their next thrill. I could hear the shrill screams of riders as they glided down hills and through loops. My tongue tingled as I sipped at a full, ice cold, jumbo cup of cola. Today is going to be fun.

We spent hour after hour riding the giant metal structures and filling our mouths with greasy fries and funnel cakes. There was one ride, though, that none of the others would ride with me, but I was determined to ride it. My family promised that they would wait for me so I ran to the ride and stood in line.

After I stood in line for 30 minutes I finally reached the front. Picking the seat I wanted (the front) I braced myself for the ride. The Clu-CHUNCK, Clu-CHUNCK, Clu-CHUNCK of the tracks matched the racing of my heart beat as my queasy stomach tied itself in knots. Finally, we were at the top. We dropped. I squealed with glee as my hair blew out behind me and we sped toward the bottom of the hill. My eyes started to water as we accelerated, the air blowing into them. Before I knew it the ride had come to an end and I got out of the cart feeling frazzled and exhilarated.

"Mom!" I called as I ran out of the tunnel, I searched the crowd of people for my family, but found nothing. "Moooommmmmmm!" I called again, hoping that my eyes had just passed her over. I pushed past the passersby, calling mom's name, feeling my heart drop and tears form in my eyes. They were gone, they were all gone, and I was completely alone.

I crumpled unto a bench, trying to steady my breathing as I sobbed I had never once been so terrified in my life as I was in that moment. My hands trembled and my heart was pounding like a helicopter in my chest. A woman in a uniform slowly approached me, crouching down to look me in the eyes.

"Honey what's wrong?" She whispered.

"My… My.. I can't find… Gone.." I stuttered through my wails.

"Honey are you lost?" she asked, taking my hand. I nodded my head, wiping off my wet cheeks. "If you come with me I can take you to the place where kids that have been separated from their parents wait to be picked up." I nodded again so we walked together to a colorful building. After being signed in they gave me a can of Dr. Pepper and let me choose from a collection of movies to watch. They set up Rugrats in Paris and then went to care for the other kids.

The hour or so that I sat in that building was the most terrifying, anxious hour of my life. To fend off the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach I absorbed myself in the mindless world of Rugrats. Soon though, I heard the chiming of the opening door and saw my mother enter and my heart instantly lifted. I ran to my mother and smiled brightly as I was welcomed back into the company of my family.




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This article has 12 comments. Post your own!

AgnotTheOdd said...
Sept. 10, 2010 at 9:13 pm:
Interesting story.  Loved the title.  It was descriptive, but I think it could have been more effectively so.
 
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SecretNonConformist said...
Sept. 6, 2010 at 6:48 pm:

The good: Great story! It was very descriptive and you showed instead of told.

The bad: The beginning was a little confusing. 

Keep writing!

 
Inherinerd replied...
Sept. 7, 2010 at 7:52 pm :
what should i improve on my title
 
SecretNonConformist replied...
Sept. 7, 2010 at 7:58 pm :
your title is fine. just make the beginning a little more clear.
 
Inherinerd replied...
Sept. 8, 2010 at 5:05 am :
i meant begining, and do you mean clear like distinguishing that the first sentence was foreshadowing or like the preface
 
SecretNonConformist replied...
Sept. 8, 2010 at 6:21 pm :
i think you could do without the first sentence and build into the story. thats just my opinion.
 
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Amiee said...
Sept. 3, 2010 at 10:56 pm:
wow, this is very descriptive, it really shows you first, the thrill of roaller coasters, and then the horror of being lost
 
Inherinerd replied...
Sept. 4, 2010 at 7:11 am :
Thank you! but can you think of anything i can improve on?
 
Amiee replied...
Sept. 5, 2010 at 4:30 am :
um, maybe the last part was kinda confusing, well, not confusing but fast paced. maybe you could describe the last part a bit more like you did for the first part
 
Inherinerd replied...
Sept. 5, 2010 at 7:09 am :
okay thanks!
 
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ELM522This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 21, 2010 at 1:26 pm:
I like you descriptions, onamonapia (I don't know how to spell it), and enhanced vocab! Awesome job!!!
 
Inherinerd replied...
Jul. 21, 2010 at 3:49 pm :
Thank you!!! Most of the time i either get so caught up in dialouge that i don't describe or get so caught up in description that i forget everything else!!
 
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