June 15, 2010
Ella toddled over and tugged on my pants leg.
"Mama," she said, "I want moo-moo."
We've been running pretty low on food so I guess it was time to stock up again, if we could anyway.
"Alright baby, just give mommy a second to get ready."
She smiled her half-toothless smile and toddled away. I buried my face in my face in my hands and tried not to cry. I've been jobless for two months and at this point, I didn't know where our next meal was coming from.
I slowly made my way to the bedroom, dreading to open the money drawer, but I had to do it, i couldn't just let my baby go hungry.
Five dollars, that's all the cash we had, so i pulled out the change jar. There wasn't much but i prayed it was enough.
I quickly stuffed what we had into my pocket and went to get Ella.
"Come here sweetie!" I called, crouching down with open arms.
"Mama!" She squealed. running into my embrace
I swung her up and twirled her around.
"Come on baby, lets go get some food."

One mile seemed like 100 when I was carrying Ella, but you couldn't expect a two year old to walk that far.
When we finally got to the store I went straight to the bread and milk, those where things we needed. Then I went to toe meats and got a small package of chicken.
When we got in line for the check out Ella reached for a candy bar.
"we can't get that right now sweetie" I whispered. She started to whine, then full out cry so i placed the candy in her little hands.
"Shh, shh, OK you can get it."
"Next please!" A rude voice said.
I placed the items on the counter and watched the girl ring them up, cringing with each 'bring' of the scanner.
When she finished I handed her the five and shamefully dropped the change in front of her.
" That's not enough" she said in a disgusted tone.
I pulled out my bank card and grudgingly handed it to her. She swiped it and shot me a dirty look.

I could feel the sting of tears behind my eyes, the embarrassed blush creep up my face, and my normally elastic smile fade as she told me,
"Your cards been rejected."

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