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A Once and Future Thing
Some people I'll never understand. I could try to but I'd never succeed in a million years. I sat and watched her out of the corner of my eye in the library wondering if she even noticed I was looking at her. She pretended to be really interested in a book she had taken off the shelf. People always do that, especially girls if they think they're being watched. I wonder if maybe she was purposely avoiding me or something.
That girl, Jamie Sullivan, was real funny about stuff like that. She was like the type of person you'd love to hate and all that jazz. Except I didn't hate her. That was what really puzzled me. I knew I should have hated her yet I didn't. Especially after the stuff she'd done to me in the past.
I'm not particularly bright or anything but I have a good memory. That a** Shriver says its because all simians were brought up to memorize and not to comprehend.He'd get his someday, and an elephants worth too.
Anyways the first time I saw her was when I was running away from home. I wasn't exactly sure about where I was going but I knew I had to run. People like me don't really think about the where until they're there if you know what I mean. So I was running and this small furry white dog comes up and bites the hell out of my leg. I snatched it off and waited for its owner to come reprimand it. Instead this young girl, Jamie, comes from around the corner holding half a leash in her hand.
Don't expect some type of crappy dalmatians story cause you aren't going to get one. So Jamie comes running up with this half of a leash and the first thing I expect to come out of her mouth is an apology. Instead I get, "What are you doing to my dog?" I guess I was holding the dog funny cause it was yelping a bit in my grip. I shrugged and dropped it to the ground."It bit me, I was waiting for its owner to come get it." She rolled her eyes, "Yeah right, Tulip Blossoms never bitten anything in her life." It was my turn to roll my eyes. Leave it to a girl to give a dog a pathetic name like Tulip Blossom. "I'm sure she hasn't, well I'll be on my way lady." I walked around her and continued on my path to freedom.
I went back home later that day. My parents never even found out that I had runway. People like Jamie always took the fun out of things. I moped around till noon when I started to get hungry. I knew the fridge was empty so I headed outside to maybe grab a sub or a piece of pizza. My neighborhood was a very large place. It was like a city all by itself. You'd almost never run into the same people twice.
I went to Dave's Pizza parlor which is a very shady joint in the south hills. They might have an undercover drug business going or something. But people, meaning adults, never like to talk about crap like that. They keep their children shrouded like it'll protect them from the outside world when all it does is hurt them. It hurt me I know. So on my way back to my house that annoying little white dog, Tulip or whatever the hell it was called, started nipping at my ankles again. I've never been an animal person so my first instinct told me to kick it. Instead I broke off a piece of my crust and gave it to the little b******. A bit of sympathy never hurts does it.
Then that girl starts around the block and starts ostracizing me for feeding her damn dog. Like it was my fault the animal was begging for food. So I said, "It's not my fault your dog is starving, it came to me begging for food. The least you can do is thank me." She scooped it up and said, "Thank you? I don't think so." Then she walked away with her ratty poodle under her arm. And the stupid thing wouldn't quit yipping and yapping. It made we want to snatch it from her and break its little neck.
But I kept my self cool and walked home. I broke the rest of the pizza crust up and walked home a bit depressed. I suffered from depression a lot. I really did. On the outside I might seem cheery as hell but on the inside I'm bleeding wine. It's a very serious condition. I almost got sent to the hospital for it. You can even ask my mother if you don't believe me.
Thinking about girls always made me feel better. Not the girl you know you'll never have but the one that is in your reach. I didn't really have any girls in my reach so I thought about my dead brothers girlfriend. She was a real babe. And the way she always smiled at me made me know that she had the hots for me too. Someday I'd call her and put on a really deep sexy voice and say, 'Hey baby, its that boy you've stared at for so long. He's finally 14. You know you want him'. At least I think I'd say that. You never know until you're actually ready to do something. Knowing myself I'd probably chicken out before I even got the phone in my hands. I'm a real big chicken I am. But at least I'm not afraid to admit it. Some guys will lie till next Sunday about their bravery yet when they actually get asked to do something brave they pee their pants. I wouldn't know though. I've never been in a situation like that.
That following day was a Monday. I hated school worse than I hated home. But since it was law I had to go otherwise they'd throw me in jail. That happened to a guy I knew. His name was Franklin and boy was he was real smart alec. Guys like him really needed to get a bite of reality they were so full of themselves. Anyway on the way into the institution I bumped into good old Jamie herself. For a minute she looked like she didn't recognize me. Then the recognition sat in. She muttered sorry and continued walking in the direction she was going, out of the institution. For a second I almost felt sorry for her then I realized that she was the one leaving and I was the one going in. I get stuff really mixed up sometimes.
After I was threw with my time for the day I decide to horse around after school. I didn't have any friends so my idea of horsing around was giving old people the stare down. It gave me kicks to see them look at me like I was crazy or something. I was a screwed up kid I was. I still am in a way. But there were no old people around today so I decided to go see if I could mess around with that Tulip dog. I quickly found it sitting on a door step. When it saw me it ran up and began licking my hands. I reached into my lunch sack and gave it my sandwich. I hate turkey but my mother makes it anyways. I don't want to hurt her feelings and tell her I don't like her food yet I don't want to eat it either. My dad would probably get on my case anyways and have me explain in 12 different ways where the sandwiched from the past 9 years of institutional torture have gone. I didn't have the guts to face my old man.
Soon the dog had eaten the paper bag too and was looking like a fat hog afternoon. I scratched its stomach then realized that if I didn't get out of there soon angry girl would come yell at me about touching her dog. She came out of the building soon enough with a puzzled look on her face concerning the dog. When I explained that I had given it my lunch she asked if I had fed it the bag too. "Yeah, I mean I had no choice. It snatched it out of my hand" She sighed. "It eats my socks, batteries, and books. I only hope it doesn't vomit it up later." I nodded as the dog stretched out and yawned. She stuck out her hand, "Sorry for yelling at you yesterday. I guess I was just in a bad mood. I found out my parents are splitting up." I shook it, "I know how you feel, I mean I don't know what it feels like to have your parents split up but I know how it feels to be in a mood and all. I'm quite frequently in one. But what type of mood depends on my company you know." She nodded even thought I had the feeling she hadn't processed a single word I had said. Girls were like that, they'd pretend to be listening to everything you had to say while they were really thinking about something else. I guess some guys are like that too. "I'm Jamie, Jamie Sullivan." She looked at me like she expected me to give my name or something. "Jordan Mitchells." "Well it was nice to meet you Jordan." I stood up taking the que. "Yeah ditto, hey are you doing anything tonight?" She shook her head, "No why?" "Then how about I take you to the new Chinese food restaurant on MLK ave. She thought about it for a second, "We've only known each other for a few minutes and your asking me out to dinner?" "Hey better late than never right?" I asked totally screwing up the expression. "I kind of have-" Before she could deflate my increasing good mood I cut her off, "Great I'll pick you up a 7." Then I quickly walked away.
It was kinda stupid to ask out a girl I barely knew yet I had the feeling that I knew her from somewhere. That wasn't important though. Girls were all alike and I figured that if it didn't work out between us I could dump her and find another. I was stupid like that. Seven came around as I was rounding the block. She was sitting on her stoop looking pleased yet paranoid at the same time. I didn't even know that was possible. But what the hell. We took the bus to the merchant district and got off at the 3rd stop. I quickly found out that the dog, Tulip Blossom, was a present from her dad before he went away. We were quickly seated in the restaurant because it was fairly empty. She asked me, "So what do your parents do for a living?" I contemplated lying but figured that she'd find out sooner or later so I said, "My dad's a lawyer and my mom's a writer. She writes those Bernadean Jones books." Instead of gushing like every girl I know does over those dopey books she said, "No offense but those books are kind of...Well you know." I smiled,"Non taken, I hate them. Between her writing and his legal crap they barely have anytime for me. Bernadean Jones is like her kid and I'm some guy that begs for food." "I know what you mean, my parents are actors. They live life like a play and never face reality." I sort of smiled at that. It was exactly the way I felt about mine. "Sometimes I think the whole world is putting on a show for me. And someday I'll wake up and be wow that was interesting." "Almost like we're all characters in a book." "Yeah, I mean a couple of days ago you were just an angry girl with a dumb dog. Now I find out your a person just like me." She smirked, "I wonder if everybody is a person." Not getting the humor I muttered, "I wonder." The food came next and soon we were through and wondering where it had all gone. MSG does crap like that to you. Then we got back on the bus to her house. On the walk home my hands started to get all clammy. I hated when they did that. Then we approached her door step. I waited for her to go inside but she said, "Aren't you even going to kiss me goodnight?" Thinking she was joking I leaned in to give her kiss on the cheek. I'm not very bright on this subject so I didn't know that when a girl said to kiss them you kissed them the right way. She grabbed my face gently in one hand and pointed it in the right direction, towards her mouth. I'm not going to lie and say I'm a terrific kisser because I'm not. But I did remember to chew some gum on the ride home.
Then I went home wondering what I'd do next. And that's how I got in the predicament I'm in today. The passive aggressive staring contest in the library. And she has me wondering was that date last night a once or future thing. Or both.