Shattered Glass

June 12, 2010
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Blue skies- not a single cloud. The sun was shining and made wearing all black something even more dreadful. My arms hung limp at my sides as I stared blankly at the ground. I didn't hear what the pastor was saying, not that it mattered anyway. The past month had gone by too fast, but I couldn't remember the beginning. The noise of shuffling feet against grass and soft words brought me back to reality. I turned to see a small old lady walking up to me. She looked somewhat familiar, but I couldn't put a name to her face. She had a sweet smile on her face, green eyes glistening with water. She took my hands in hers and the smile faded.
"You are a strong young woman, you can get through this. But not alone. There is someone here who you need, and who needs you. Rosie- your brother wanted me to give this to you." She pulled a piece of folded up paper from her little pink purse, letting my hands drop. I took it from her hands, and unsure of what to say I nodded and walked to a small oak tree that was free from tombstones. My hands shook as I unfolded the paper. It was almost full of large handwriting and a picture at the bottom. I read it slowly, trying to make sense of the misspelled words.
Deer Rosie, I miss yoo. Plese tayke car of mommy and daddy and babey Casi and Jon. I luv yoo and am sory to be leeving you but I had to go. Plese dont be mad at me. Goodbye Sissy. I luv yoo. Jacob. The drawing was of a boy holding the hand of a girl. He had labeled them "Me" and "Yoo". I reread the letter again and again, until tears swelled my eyes shut. I slowly lowered myself to the ground, and lay my head against my knees. My body trembled as I started to cry. I felt alone, like parts of me were missing. And parts were missing, some gone forever. But there was one piece that I knew I had hidden somewhere, and I needed it back. My thighs were wet from tears, and my throat was getting sore. I heard footsteps coming close, and something told me to look up. It was Cameron. My heart lurched, as if to say Go! Get up, and go to him! I understood what the old lady meant. I needed him more than ever before, and though I still wasn't sure how he needed me, I knew he did. Still shaking, I got up off the ground and wiped my eyes-though it didn't do anything because more tears replaced what I had cleared in less than three seconds. I walked to where Cameron had stopped, legs wobbling and sight blurry. When I was less than three inches from him I fell into his open arms. His arms closed around me, holding me to his chest. We stood there, my tears staining his suit. After what seemed like forever, my cries softened, almost silent. The tears stopped falling, my body stopped shaking. I looked up at Cameron's face. His eyes were red and puffy.
"I'm so sorry Cameron. Please forgive me." The words were broken and barely audible. A smile broke through his solemn face as he leaned down and kissed my lips. I closed my eyes, my arms wrapped around his waist. His lips barely pressed against mine, and a tear fell onto my face. "Why are you crying?" I managed to ask once he broke the kiss.
"Rosie, I loved Jake too. But the worst is knowing that you are in so much pain right now. Rose I love you, don't you think it kills me to see you so upset?" My lips trembled slightly, my cries coming to an end.
"Thank you." Cameron's lips pressed lightly against the top of my head and told me he would take me home. I shook my head. "I don't want to go home yet. He suggested we just drive, until we decided to go back home. I agreed without any thought. Getting away would be good. We walked, hand in hand to the cemetery parking lot where his faded blue pickup truck was parked. He told me to wait for a minute while he told my parents where I was. I leaned against the passenger door, letting the sun dry my damp face. The metal of the truck was warm and heated up my body quickly. The letter was in my right hand, clutched against my chest. Part of me wanted to cry, but for the first time in a while, I felt like I was empty of tears. Cameron appeared again, walking quickly across the lot full of cars. He unlocked the car and opened the passenger door for me to climb in. It closed softly, barley making any noise. Before a minute had passed from the time I had gotten in the truck, we were almost out of the lot. Then, we were-and there was a certain freedom building inside of me. Because for the first time in a long time, I knew that things were falling into place and that I didn't have to worry anymore. As I looked out the window in the back seat I could see the city disappearing and turning into dust.

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