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The Internal Battle of Marianna Monroe

[Marianna looking out her bedroom window]

I wish I’d known that I would never have a day of humanity. I wish I’d known I would forever be eighteen. I wish I’d known my parents and brother would die, and I’d become a leader for the monsters who have cheated death. That is what we are. That is what I am. I’m feared, hated, and respected not only by others, but by my own people. The Monroe Estate has been thrown in my hands, and I have everything dark seekers dream of. But I don’t feel that way. My family is dead, and I fail to see the satisfaction in that. My experiences shed light on who I am, perpetually fueling my self hatred. I’m inhuman, I should be free. I am not free, but bound to the mental cell I’ve created for myself. I used to cling to immortality with a strong sense of certainty that I now question. I question everything that I stand for. What exactly is that? Death. Destruction. Power. I’m evil by nature, but the nurture that I was given made me otherwise, or I would like to think so. Father was very loving, but it was Markos who made the greatest impact on my life. Being five years older than I, he helped me through the obstacles faced as a dark seeker, yet he was young enough to still have challenges ahead. He was my protector, my brother, my best friend. Now I’m alone and can’t bear to be. I long to be human with no immortal baggage. I long to be human in love with another human, not expected to marry a dark seeker from another royal family, who’s only striving for power. I want to know what it’s like to be pierced through the heart, bleed out from the fatal wound, and simply die. That will never happen. But the pain I feel inside is equivalent, if not more than the impossible death I am so longing to face.

[Exits]




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