no time to say goodbye

May 30, 2010
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“I can do it myself.” I said. My mom always does the straps too tight. “we have to drive a long way.” she tries to explain but I stop listening, I hate car rides. They are so bad. They make my stomach hurt, then I get all sick. Eww! My sister gets in beside me. She gets to buckle her own straps. I stick my tongue out at her, she smiles. I try to hit her but my mom sees and gives me that look. My dad is driving and he hasn’t said anything the whole time. What is his problem? He starts driving away and I look back at the house and I don’t want it to be worried that we aren’t coming back so I ask my mom “ we are coming back home right?” “yes,” my mom answers “ in a few days.” Now the house doesn’t look so worried because he heard, I think.

In like a billion hours we get to my grandpa’s house in Colorado. I jump out and run to give my grandpa a huge hug, then I asked where grandma is. Grandpa just looked at me and hugged me tighter. I pulled away and smiled, “ don’t worry grandpa; mom says we aren’t leaving for a few days so I will have time to play with everyone. A lot.” I started skipping away to play in the grass.

“Time for bed” My mom called “ we have an early start tomorrow.” I hate going to bed but I know better then to argue in front of grandpa. I was kind of tired but I would never say this out loud. “ Goodnight everyone” I yelled as I made my way under the covers. They all said goodnight except grandma. I thought she was in her room, so being very sneaky I peeked in there but it was empty. Maybe grandma is staying the night at a friend’s house tonight. Grandma is very brave so I think she could make it the whole night without even needing to call home. So I go back and crawl into bed. I don’t want to go to sleep but my eyes keep closing and I cant stop it. Then I’m dreaming.

My mom is waking me up and I don’t even think the sun is in the sky yet. I try not to hear her. She says we have to go to my grandma’s funeral. I don’t know what that is but my grandma is going to be there so I jump up. I tell mom that I will wake up sister because we got to get a move on it. “ Kylie! Kylie! Get up! We get to go to grandma’s fun roll.” I yell excitedly. She gives me a mean look and says “ it’s a funeral Meagan, your not supposed to be happy.” I don’t care though; I get to see grandma. Mom dresses kylie and me in nice clothes and puts us in our car seats. This time I don’t even mind that she buckles it. The faster we leave the better. No one seems happy like I am but I am just so excited I can hardly sit still.

When we get to the place of the fun roll I tell my parents I want to sit between these two ladies. They say it’s fine but to not cause trouble. When are they going to know that I’m not the child who does that? As I sit down and look at the ladies I notice they look just like my grandma. It makes me want to see her more. A funny looking man holding a book walks up to the front. He starts talking and I don’t know what he is talking about so I stop listening.

There are a pot of flowers on the table by the man. The flowers are a mix of yellow, orange and purple. I see a bee flying slowly over to the flowers, he heads straight for the purple one. It’s probably his favorite color, just like grandma. A sob breaks my daydream and I look to my sides. Both the ladies next to me are crying. I remember that when I cried grandma used to make me feel better, I bet she would do the same for them. “ Don’t worry lady. My grandma always makes me feel better she probably would you two. This is her fun roll, she has got to be around here somewhere.” I tell her. “ Sweetie your grandma is gone.” the lady, I’m really starting not to like, almost whispers. “ well when is she coming back?” I ask her because I’m really starting to get scared. “ She isn’t baby, I’m sorry.” There are a million questions I want to ask her, but I cant. My voice isn’t working. Tears fall out of my eyes. I want my grandma. All I know is that I hate fun rolls. They are not fun at all. They took my grandma away from me. I didn’t even have enough time to say goodbye. I put my hands over my eyes and cry forever. I wish I was that bee so I could fly away and be with my grandma.

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beautifuldreamer said...
Jun. 13, 2010 at 11:45 am
hey anchovie (know who i am yet? ;) ) this is awesome! incredibly depressing and it starts sort of choppy but i can practically see little-you at a "fun roll" being all bouncy until you find out what it's all about...
beautifuldreamer replied...
Jun. 13, 2010 at 11:46 am
sorry i didnt check to see who wrote it so i thought my friend did :( but i still really like it!
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