Fresh Water | Teen Ink

Fresh Water

May 24, 2010
By friendlyfire BRONZE, Holland, Michigan
friendlyfire BRONZE, Holland, Michigan
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I sit on top of an old, rusted torpedo that sits in the lawn, looking out over Lake Michigan. The sun has already disappeared behind the storm clouds, rays of light lacing the clouds. They’re sinister, I’m almost afraid that they will swallow me whole. The waves become rough, crashing into one another until they throw themselves on the beach. Sea gulls occasionally call out to the storm as they fly an uncharted course. The wind whips my long hair across my face, blinding me.

I try to focus on the thrumming of music coming from the beach house behind me. The rhythm of the song vibrates though the ground and into the soles of my feet. I swing my legs over the side of the torpedo and look back at the house. Lights flicker out the slider glass doors onto my face and I gaze at the silhouettes following around the room. Some people lay around outside clustered in small groups, whispering amongst each other as they watch the storm pull in. Finn looks up at me and smiles, nodding his head. I grin back at him and look back out to the water. Out of the corner of my eye, I see him still watching me, shaking messy blonde hair out of his face. I lean my face against my fist trying to hide myself, until I see him stand and walk across the lawn.

“Hey girl,” he says, his voice heavy. “I’m heading out soon. There’s no way I’m stuck here when the storm hits.”

I can feel his dark brown eyes burrow into mine as I stare blankly at him. “Err,” I mutter, “I’m gonna stay here. Riko and Tia are still inside, and it seems like they’re having fun. I’ll head out with them later.”

“That might be awhile,” he said with an alluring smile.

“I think I can survive.” I stared back at him trying to keep my face composed.

“Alright then, I guess I’ll see you at the Grill later.”

I watch him walk back to the beach house and dissapper in the crowd of people. I started to think about leaving with him, so I wouldn’t be stuck at this party waiting for Riko and Tia. I can’t leave them; I promised myself that I would stay to keep an eye on them. After the last time, I’m always reminding myself the mistakes will happen anywhere.

Another crack of thunder ripped though the clouds that were now closer to the shore. The waves had grown in that short amount of time. I wonder what it would be like to be out in them. I can almost feel myself being enveloped in the icy waves. The standers lying in the grass began to collect themselves and go inside. I could see them begin to wake up again and become apart of the party they had broken off from, singing and yelling as they joined their friends. I decided that I’d go down on the beach until it started to rain.

The dry grass pricked my feet as I walk over to the stairs, as if they tried to stop me from going, but the wind pulled me forward. A shiver rolls down my back when I step closer to the water. The waves become angry, sending a sharp spray of water at me. The adrenaline rush makes my heart soar; giving me the sudden urge to fight the threatening current. I step out into the water, feeling the shards of water piercing my body. My long hair sticks to my face and wraps around my neck, afraid to let go and become lost. The clouds roared again just as the first drops of rain begin to fall. I wade out farther into the lake until my feet claw at the sand to stay above the water. The waves are sea serpents, bobbing up and down, carrying me over their heavy crested backs.

A strike of lightening splits the sky, giving life to the monstrous wave that towers in front of me. Ropes of the current tangle my feet and pull me down. A strong scream escapes my chest before I’m knocked on to the floor of the lake. My dainty legs and arms tried to swim up for air, but I am spun around like a fly caught on a spider’s web. Water fills my ears and lungs every time I am flipped over and the waves pound me back into the sand. A break in the waves came where I was able to stand, choking on shards of water, until I was knocked over again. This time, my head slams against the lake’s floor and I lose the feeling of the freezing temperature burning my skin.

A rock hits my back and a stream of water gurgles out of my mouth. I can feel it trickling down my chin and neck, leaving a sticky trail. The rock hits my back again, more water pours out of my mouth. My shoulders shake me awake and my eyes flutter up to see Finn standing over me. He’s calling my name, but I’m unable to answer him. He reaches down towards me and wipes my face dry with the edge of his shirt. I can hear him lecturing me about how careless I am and something about Riko, but everything is too hazy to be clear.

He picks me and carries me back to the house where he sets me at the bottom of the steps to find a towel. The people around look at me, dripping on the wood floor, but they don’t say a thing. A thick towel wraps around me and I’m picked up again, carried out to his truck. He sets me the passenger seat and buckles me in. I lean my heavy head against the window and curl up to get warm as I listen to Finn start his car. He turns the heat up and the volume to the radio low. We pull out onto the road as I fall asleep.



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This article has 1 comment.


LastChapter said...
on Dec. 18 2010 at 10:36 am
LastChapter, Hempstead, New York
0 articles 0 photos 215 comments

Favorite Quote:
(couldn't think of anything better at the time) "Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step."-Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.

this was so good! you have a very poetic, detailed way of describing the everything, i could see it all in the story perfectly, but it was never too wordy where it took away from the story. amazing job. but there's just something about the ending, where its good, but it doesn't have that lasting effect we all strive for in our last sentences. "We pull out onto the road as I fall asleep." is good, don't get me wrong, but it doesn't give me that lingering feeling or goosebumps on my arms. perhaps if you described her, from the warm safety of his car, looking back at the lake, and seeing ____. i don't know what it'd be, but just something to leave you hanging. being all snug in the car as they drive home just doesn't leave any room for imagination, or for the story to go anywhere afterward, which is what you want, because that way the reader will keep thinking about all the things that might happen after the story's over. anyways, amazing job! please comment on my work:)