the man and the decision

By , charleston, SC
A man battered and beaten walks along a railroad track. His hands placed in his pockets and eyes searching the ground. He walked with a slight lemp and a hunch in his back. With no money in his pockets all he could do was stare down at the ground until something appeared. Step after step the journey seemed to have no end. He almost gives up and walks away from the track until something in the distance shines. He squints and hesitates for a second. He slowly walks over to the shiny object. When he picks it up he begins to smile. He lifts it up to the sky and yells. He jumps up and down with tears streaming down his face. He walks away from the track and heads toward the road nearby. He clings tight to the gold coin and starts to pick up his pace. He licks his lips and tastes the smoke of his last cigarette. A few minutes up the road he begins to aproach a figure. The fog covers the figure and he can't make out who or what it was. He starts to slow down and inch closer and closer. When he is close enough to touch he streches out his hand. It was a women. She turned and looked at him. She jumped slightly and his eyes then met hers. They were blood shot and her skin was bruised all over her face and arms. He didn't know what to do or how to help her. He could barely take care of himself. He looked down at her stomach. A small bump was there. Now he knew that two people needed his help and he couldn't leave them.
"Sir. Can you please help me? My husband dropped me off here and I have no money or any place to go."
He stood in silence for a moment contemplating the situation at hand. He remembered the gold coin he had found by the railroad track. How could he give up the money when he knew that he was close to starvation. So he had to choose between saving himself or the women who desperatly needed him?





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This article has 4 comments. Post your own now!

a.m.f said...
Jun. 16, 2010 at 2:12 pm
i agree with jeuneflower, there are a few puntuation and spelling errors, but i like it. the end really makes you think. hey, if you have any time, you should consider checking out my short story that i just posted. i need feedback.
 
a.m.f said...
Jun. 16, 2010 at 1:00 pm
i really like it, but like jeuneflower said, there are some punctuation errors as well as a spelling error.  other than that, i thought it was great! the story is great, and the ending really leaves you thinking. what would i do if i were him? yeah. check out my work? thanks. TeenInk.com/fiction/realistic_fiction/article/222261/Scratching-Stones/
 
Jeuneflower said...
Jun. 16, 2010 at 12:03 pm
I thought that it was a great idea for a story, but you need to proof-read it way more. I found many punctuation errors that need to be fixed. It'd be really cool if you ended it with his desicion too!
 
irrara12 said...
Jun. 15, 2010 at 3:06 pm
Wow, I like it.
 
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